Thursday, April 28, 2011

Sheldon A.K.A. Speedy Gonzales

It’s apparent that Sheldon is her father’s daughter. They both are addicted to the intoxicating high they get with the wind whipping through their hair when pressing the gas pedal to the limit. Sadly, her recent meet up with flashing blue lights were impervious to her blond cuteness and it added another 2 points to her growing count.


The first time she was pulled over was 1 month into her shiny new driving freedom pass. “Mom…..sniff, I just got a pulled over and got a ticket” she said in the high tight voice that only high strung Italian greyhound dogs can hear. “Dad is going to KILL me.” Oh honey child, when I first met your dear old daddy, his license was suspended for too many tickets. And so the circle of speed begins.

Last year was an avalanche of those pesky tickets. First, photo radar clocked her doing 47 mph in a 35mph zone. Off to traffic school you sweet you thing, no worries you can go once every two years and no troublesome points to rat to you out to the insurance company. A few weeks later I happened to be a hostage/passenger in her little Ford Focus. “My love, you seem to be driving a teeny tiny bit fast for Mommy’s liking, umm 78 in a 65 might get you pulled over.” Snarling as only an overly sensitive young adult can…..” its fine, I drive like this all the time.” Okie dokie Smokie, I just tightened my belt and checked that the airbag was poised to be activated. Not one week later a little someone got pulled over doing EIGHTY EIGHT in a SIXTY FIVE. Yes indeed, criminal speeding for our little drag racer. Fortunately, the judge took pity on her and reduced it to civil speeding and oops three points rather than shiny handcuffs.

Every conversation at her last trip inside the familiar courtroom started the same way. They all quizzically asked why she didn’t take the remedial driver’s class. In her mind she was traveling with the flow of traffic, not that she wasn’t eligible for an afternoon jail sentence. In the end, she lost, another two points to her pinball tally. This week’s gig will hopefully make her feel a little better.

Low Fat Bisquick Oven Fried Chicken
2 pounds meaty chicken pieces with skin
2/3 cup Bisquick reduced fat baking mix
1 ½ teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 tablespoon butter

Place butter in 13x9 pan. Preheat oven to 425 degrees and place pan and butter in oven while it’s preheating. Combine bisquick, paprika, salt and pepper in a large resealable bag. Rinse chicken with water and place in bag one or two pieces at a time and shake to coat well. Place meat in pan, meat side down. Bake 35 minutes, turn pieces over and bake an additional 15 minutes or until internal temperature reaches 160 degrees.

I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was once pulled over by a cop skulking behind a tree when I was about her age. I told him he’d scared me hiding and I stepped on the gas instead of the brake. He laughed so hard he popped the button on his pants and told me to move along as he scurried back to his cruiser. Whew, dodged a bullet that time.

So on a side note, Mrs. Tuna has been have a pretty crappy month at work, so crappy she doesn’t even feel like blogging. So think good karma thoughts for improvement at the slave market, or she will have to rest her head on her keyboard since nothing funny will come out. However, getting more followers might perk me up.

42 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I'm so glad we don't have those photo traffic cameras here! I would be in serious trouble.

Shawn said...

It is so good to see you back and funny as ever! Oh, maybe I shouldn't be laughing at your daughters misfortune, but it was funny.
I am lucky, I can pull the nuse card..it usually works!

Annie (Lady M) x said...

Aww Mrs T, I am properly wishing you good karma and I hope things get better for you.

I don't blame your daughter for speeding, I blame the cops for having nothing better to do. I mean it's not like she crashed or anything. They probably pull her to earn a fat wadge of cash in fines!

I'm So Fancy said...

I've missed you!

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

I hope things start to improve. I'm searching for good karma coupons myself and I'll grab some for you too! I found the solution for my daughters. I just refuse to teach them to drive.

Hilary said...

I am so thankful that we only have stop sign cameras where I live. I hope she soon mends here evil ways (I eventually did). I did a post earlier this week that is pretty apropos to this

http://wwwfeelingbeachie.blogspot.com/2011/04/teach-your-children-well-their-fathers.html

Mark said...

I wonder how many Sheldons I'm raising. I'm nervous already.
Glad you're back.
Your Friend, m.

Red Nomad OZ said...

Well! I never knew that speeding fines and demerit points were hereditary!!!

Have a great weekend!!

Ms.Wasteland said...

I was a bit of a lead foot in my teens and twenties, too. Never had to go to traffic school but I came very close. My parents were not amused.

Lorie Shewbridge said...

I didn't know girls could be that way too... I have two sons who drive that way and I have the same conversations with them. Oh, well good to know that it's not our fault, but their father's fault. TeeHee!
Thank you for the recipe and for linking up with us. My mom used to make this with the regular Bisquick when I was a kid, but I don't think I have ever bought a box of it since I've been an adult. Now that I know there is a reduced-fat kind, I may just try it.
Have a great week and lots of good karma and hugs coming your way!

Terri. said...

I am a new follower via GFC. I hope you can stop by my blog and check it out and follow back.
http://www.atthemapletable.com

CkretsGalore said...

Throwing some good karma your way lady! Hope things at work perk up.

Julie said...

Love the term "hostage/passenger". But not in a tiny Ford Focus.

I'd need some serious Hummer action around me to feel safe speeding...

Hmmmm....Hummer action.

Didn't come out quite right. But I think you know what I mean.

Be safe. (cough.)

Stephanie said...

Yikes, that post makes me recall my daughter's early driving days and ruinously expensive auto insurance. I predict that Sheldon will evolve into a responsible driver - right about the time she starts picking up the insurance tab...

Clare and Gary said...

Luckily I had a low cut top on the last time I was pulled over, if you know what I'm saying!

twelvedaysold said...

I always had to pay for my own insurance, and you can bet I had other things I wanted to spend my money on (namely smoothies) besides tickets and car insurance. I didn't get a ticket until I'd moved out of my parents house but I was still too afraid to tell them about it. Actually, I don't think I've ever told them. They don't need to know.

dbs said...

hostage/passenger = hilarious
I feel that way driving with my daughter too.

EmptyNester said...

I was wondering where you've been! Sending my good karma thoughts your way NOW!

.......did you get them?

DD2 (Deanie) is the very same way. Or was. She finally stopped super speeding when she reached 8 points and he dad told her she would have to pay for that expensive insurance if it came to that. Once her pocket was threatened---LOL

Jones Family said...

While I am gluten free I am so happy to say that they have gluten free bisquick! YEAH!

I am going to try this recipe. Thanks for sharing! (and following!)

Jonesie~~

My daily blog of whatever comes to mind!
Some censorship warnings may need to be applied here:
http://msjanetjones.blogspot.com/

My personal blog recounting memories good & bad from my life:
http://thingsinmyrearviewmirror.blogspot.com/

Siv Maria said...

Would love the chicken, no bisquick here, I know! Life without bisquick or Crisco, how challenging is that? Tonight I am making marianated pork tenderloin in a thyme and redwine sauce served with Potaoes au grautin and a spinach salad with sweet potaoes crispies. I have to feed these carpentors and my "electrician". So on another note, sorry about your daughters tickets, I got one not so long ago for double parking in a supermarket parking lot! Ouch! Hope your week improves. Go into the bathroom and stick your tongue out at yourself. Helps, really!

Jean | Delightful Repast said...

Sorry you're having a rough time at work. Hope that turns around soon. In the meantime, don't be comforting yourself with food too much (my own tendency!)!

doreen said...

Oh I hope your work gets better there is nothing worse than a crappy work place.
And I seriously need you to be funny!

tattytiara said...

Last time I got pulled over I saw the cop behind me and Drove! Faster!!! I was so brain dead I thought he was trying to get by me, it never occurred to me I was the one he was after!

Ami said...

Hope she slows down a bit!!

And that things improve for you at work. It sucks to go to a job you don't love.

lvankuiken said...

I'm a first time visitor here and this was an absolutely hilarious (albeit scary, since I have a son who will be getting his license in a few months!) post. Love it!

laughingmom said...

Very funny - not so for your insurance bill though. Love the story from when you got pulled as a teen.

Mrs4444 said...

I was a bit of a speed demon until I got my Honda Civic--It has a huge, DIGITAL display of the speed I'm going at all times. That visual is very helpful!

I hope she's paying for her own tickets...That should impact her habits.

Romina Garcia said...

Hope things improve for you soon!!
The chicken sounds delicious by the way...

lovinangels said...

Karma dust! Karma dust!!! Karma dust!!!

Katertot said...

Too bad I can't "follow" like 10 more times. :)

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

First of all, let me say I'm in love with your new blog background. Secondly, I believe we must have the same sense of hearing, as the Italian greyhound reference struck a chord that I thought *I* only understood. Bad karma to the people being mean to you at work.

Wife of Bubba said...

Vrooooooooom!!! Remembering the time I drove with the Big Tuna and felt like a dog with it's head out the window!!

Sandra said...

I'm not a new follower, I'm just a faithful follower, hope I'll do.
I get the blog blahs...I've been resorting to using my husband for blog fodder. I prefer using my kids...
As for your daughter, well, I understand thinking you're going with the flow of traffic. I have no advice for her. I'm currently driving despite a suspended license....shhhhh, don't tell anybody.

1 Funky Woman said...

Only good thoughts going your way! Hope it gets better! Dang she does have a lead foot. I hope she doesn't keep that up or her license will be taken away and then you have to start driving her everywhere, ot fun!

The recipe sounds great. So do you think it fits in with my Weight Watcher points, lol! Doubttul!

Megan

Roxy Carmichael said...

I am your latest follower and you tickle me pink! I have maybe the opposite problem I drive so slowly people honk me.

Heather said...

I am glad you're back.
I drive too fast. and I have only gotten out of a ticket ONE TMIE..because someone driving fast AND wreckless flew by the cop and I on the side of the road.

Kernut the Blond said...

Uh oh. Too many tickets and the PoPo will take away her license.

Not that that's ever happened to me.

Good thoughts for an easy, peaceful, and lucrative work environment headed your way! :)

Belle said...

My daughter owed $1,500 in speeding tickets at one time. You don't have to pay them here until your license is renewed. She doesn't speed any more. Sorry work has been hard. I hope it gets better.

blueviolet said...

One of my brothers has gone his entire life with points on his record. He gets at least 3-4 tickets a year, but with lawyers, he manages to get them reduced. I hope Sheldon doesn't follow quite that same path.

The chicken sounds phenomenal!

Ca88andra said...

I've only ever had one speeding ticket in my life (although I did accumulate many parking tickets), but when I do something I do it well! I got caught doing 120km in a 60km zone! My excuse was it was a new car and I couldnt "feel" how fast it was going. Not to mention it was 2am and there was absolutely no one on the road - except the policeman of course...

ModernMom said...

Ha! Who knew it was genetic? lol My kids are in TROUBLE!

Brandy@YDK said...

oh no. that's gonna cost her a few dollars.