Punish the Wicked

Spinning so many plates is actually making me a little motion sick. I’m not thinking that Dramamine is going to fix me up. I’ve had one of those inferior weeks where no matter how many chains of four leafed clovers or lucky rabbit foots I carried I couldn’t catch a break. On a scale of 1 to10, this was a minus 47.

First, I’ve acquired a new little stalker at ASU. Being late to lectures causes me to get there psychotically early, so early in fact I can’t even get into the lecture hall because the previous class is still sleeping in there. A slightly creepy middle aged, shoulder height, chain smoker has started to sidle up to me to compare reading assignments. I don’t want to hear you whine about how going to school full time is so hard for you, ummm….I’m doing the same plus working full time bucko. Stop blowing smoke rings at me or I’ll spray you with Fabreeze. Just because we can both remember the 80’s doesn’t mean I’m in the market for a new study buddy.

Next, I met an old boss for lunch to pick up a letter of recommendation for a potential scholarship. A five minute drive turned into a Beat the Clock episode. I literally got ever f*cking light, a construction zone and a blinking railroad crossing. I’m trying to make a good impression for Pete’s sake. On the way back to the slave market it was smooth sailing. Of course I couldn’t read how amazing I am at stop lights and had to wait until I was back in my veal fattening pen.

I stopped at Circle K for gum and waited patiently behind a well-dressed 5oish man. We exchanged pleasant smiles and remarked on the lovely weather. “I’ll take 20 Mega Picks, 20 Powerball, and 10 Pick 5. Oh and Slutty Magazine with the free XXX disk. “ Ewwwww……. This week’s fare is easy except it causes you to dirty every dish in your kitchen.

Gringo Spanish Rice
3 cups cooked rice
1 pound ground beef
1 green pepper chopped fine
1 small onion also chopped fine
2-16 ounce cans tomato sauce
Salt and pepper to taste
Parmesan Cheese

Brown beef, onion and green pepper in a skillet. Combine beef mixture, rice, tomato sauce, salt and pepper in a casserole dish. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Serve with parmesan cheese. (Don’t ask it’s delicious.)

I pulled a loose thread from the cuff of my suit sleeve which led to an ugly unraveling and a droopy sleeve. It made me look like a sad neglected office gnome in need of some TLC. Thank goodness I had a stapler and knew how to use it. Hardly anyone noticed my sparkly ring of fasteners. At least it wasn’t as bad as the time I got into the mirrored elevator on the 30th floor and noticed my skirt tucked into my pantyhose, for WHO KNOWS HOW LONG. It was either April Fools or maybe the fates are just punishing the wicked this week. Hopefully you all fared better than me.