Saturday, May 21, 2011

Eeeeekkkk, Nevermore, Nevermore

Yesterday, I had a totally different blog swirling around in my head but I had a bizarre encounter with wildlife that is preempting that post, the Future Mrs. Curtis Stone.

One of things I “inherited” when my mom died was her wacka doodle dog Tonka. She looks a lot like the mutt, Santa’s Little Helper, from Homer Simpson’s house. I like to think of her as a high functioning idiot savant, she will spend hours at the French doors, unblinking, unmoving during the daylight hours. Guarding us against killer butterflies and shrieking children jumping in the adjacent neighbor’s pool. But she has developed an ugly taste for blood.


The killer and her accomplice

Tonka has taken to bumping off baby birds learning to fly that land unprotected in the back yard. Now, every time she heads out all of the birds gather screeching warning from the treetops, enticing flocks from miles around. It is very reminiscent of Hitchcock’s movie, The Birds. As she stands proudly with feathers at the corners of her mouth, they dive bomb her presence to no avail. She is not afraid……or concerned……….swoop a little closer bird and I’ll give you something to squawk about. After the first few murders she is now under supervision like a toddler at the pool. I know you’re all feeling a little grossed out but here’s this week’s recipe. Naturally I picked poultry.

Sherried Chicken with Green Noodles
4 chicken breasts
1 ½ cup chicken broth
½ pound green spinach noodles
3 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons flour
Salt and pepper to taste
½ teaspoon paprika
¼ sherry or white wine
Grated parmesan cheese

Place chicken in a saucepan and cover with broth. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer for 15 minutes. Remove chicken and reserve broth. Meanwhile cook noodles according to package directions and drain. Add a little melted butter to prevent noodles from sticking together. In a saucepan melt butter, add flour and stir with wire whisk until blended. Add boiling broth all at once stirring vigorously with whisk until smooth. Add salt, pepper, paprika and sherry to saucepan and heat throughout. Arrange chicken on individual beds of green noodles and cover with sauce. Sprinkle with parmesan cheese.

The weather right now is about perfect in Arizona. I’ve been sitting on the couch surfing the web with those French door open. The dogs were lying innocently at my feet, and a FREAKING GIANT BIRD FLEW RIGHT INTO THE LIVING ROOM AND LANDED ON A FAN. Pandemonium erupted, the dogs were so stunned they were slow to react. While the bird was flapping around my head I grabbed the collar of the Lizzie Borden of Dogs and crammed her and her wingman in the hall and slammed the door. The bird was now hunkered down behind the recliner hearing the warning cries of its mates a little too late. By opening my own condor like wing span and holding newspaper in my claw like hands I was able to herd the dazed bird to freedom. The whole exercise took less than 90 seconds, A bird in the house is worth two dogs in the hall. I consider it a victory that the damn thing didn’t crap in the house.

50 comments:

Laoch of Chicago said...

I like the idea of green noodles.

S said...

Yikes. The birds are taking over

Suz said...

Great post!!! LMAO!

EmptyNester said...

Sorry...LOL....can't write....LOL...must pick self up off floor from laughter....LOL

The Zadge said...

Thank god you didn't post a recipe for grouse or something like that. And don't be so sure that trapped bird didn't leave you a little somthin'!

Missy said...

I would have DIED!!! I HATE birds!!

Emily said...

Perhaps you have a Vampire dog on your hand?

Thanks for the recipe too. It actually seems like something I can make. I am quite culinarily challenged!

Kristine said...

Love the post and the recipe sounds good too!

Have a great weekend!

Kristine (new follower)
http://kristinesplace.com/blog

Annie (Lady M) x said...

Aww No! I would have been gutted if my mutt started killing birds. I LOVE birds! That dog sounds like a bit of a mentalist to me.

Great recipe by the way. Thanks for sharing it with us Mrs T!

LOLA said...

I'm not grossed out at all. We used to live in the country in Illinois. Each of my dogs had its chosen prey. Harper caught birds; Scout dug up (and killed) moles; Faulkner ate mice and never barfed one up; Emma caught rabbits. I didn't have doggie doors so the dogs couldn't sneak in with something because one of my sister's dogs brought in a dead squirrel and put it in bed with her. Now that's gross.

Love,
Lola

Terri said...

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Ms.Wasteland said...

Eek! I'm a little freaked out by birds. And squirrels. And toddlers.

Clearly, I have issues.

Mrs4444 said...

lol...I agree. Bird poop is not becoming to the living room decor. You're so brave...

Cat Chat With Caren And Cody said...

are you sure that dog doesn't think it is a CAT??? lol

BTW...I adore Curtis Stone! :)

Mamma has spoken said...

OMG the dog on the right looks just like my dog Dutchess! She is a true mutt too. Every time I take her to the vet, the staff has fun trying to figure out what breeds are in her. No two breeds have ever been utter about her.

Laggin said...

Wow...today I put together a bed...but I'm not sure I could have tackled the bird.

Lola said...

Wow. Could things get any more chaotic? Lol. You handled it well. -Lola http://www.dreaminginafishbowl.blogspot.com

LottieSpartacus said...

OH MY GOD! I absolutely hate birds. Once, a bird flew down our chimney and I shut it in the house and waited on the porch, clutching the dog, for a full hour until my husband got home from work! Meanwhile, it pooed all over the dining room! Still...nothing would have tempted me to go near enough to shoo it out!

Mary said...

Quick thinking on your part to get the dogs in the hall! LOL!

Red Nomad OZ said...

And they say conservation requires special training ...

Maybe the killer dog needs a rubber birdie to munch on??

Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) said...

You herded giant invading condor out to freedom? Shoulda thrown that birdbrain on the grill! Grilled Condor -- nasty!

Wife of Bubba said...

Have had lots of experience with bird poop this week. Call me if you have any issues!! : )

Heather said...

Wow. Maybe the bird was looking to get some revenge on your dog?? I am glad you didn't end up an innocent victim.

Hilary said...

Lizzie Borden of Dogs... you kill me!

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

Oh No! My cats sometimes get birds and I get so angry with them. We used to have a Golden Retriever that would kill Racoons. We couldn't keep them out of the yard so we put a big cowbell on his collar to warn them he was coming. It Worked, I wonder if it would work on birds?

dbs said...

"Lizzie Borden of Dogs" = hilarious.

Marla said...

Oh how I needed this post. I came in crying but I'm leaving laughing. I just love a good murder story.

Jojo said...

Wow. This post was like reading a nature action drama! And a recipe too!

Nance Mommy said...

Sounds like a good recipe and a scary adventure! My kids would have freaked if that had happened at our house.

New follower...from I Love My Online Friends hop.

http://www.mosscoveredpath.blogspot.com/

Romina Garcia said...

Bahaha!!
Oh my goodness you have a way with words...and recipes.
Love it.
I especially loved "idiot savant". I am totally going to use that in every conversation possible!

LegalMist said...

Wow. We have pigeons that wander into our back room if we leave the door open. Our St. Bernards just smile at them and seem to say, "come on in little guys... the food's good inside!"

Your recipes make me wish I enjoyed cooking. Maybe someday!

I'm So Fancy said...

Blood thirsty hounds. Chicken. What more could a girl want? Fancy has room in her heart for many best friends, Tuna! xxx

Jim said...

You are a riot! This was very entertaining. I bet you don't have many quests for dinner there....lol.
Thanks for dropping by my blog yesterday. You could send some of that Arizona heat this way if you wouldn't mind.

cajunlicious said...

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blueviolet said...

Tonka is unapologetic, isn't she? What a naughty girl!

Stephanie said...

Ack, a bird in the house - I'd have gone outside and hoped it would follow...

MrsBrunette said...

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Michelloui | The American Resident said...

I was enjoying this post, and I love reading recipes, then I read the bit about the bird flying in and landing n the fan etc etc and I freakin' laughed til I cried. Having mental animals myself I could see the scene. Hilarious! Mine are more prone to clear the kitchen counter of all the washed dishes when they see a fly on the window, I can;t even imagine what they'd do about a bird.

Cathy said...

That is just too funny! I can imagine those 90 seconds of chaos as you got that lucky bird out of your house.

Clare and Gary said...

Oh dear... Gary wishes he could kill the squirrels .. he's just too slow :-)

Lexie Lane said...

Wow!! This was completely out there! I really WAS grossed out and don't really know how I can stomach this recipe. Perhaps some delightful pictures?

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Have a lovely week!

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Lexie Lane
www.voiceboks.com

P.S. Please come and join our year long Hop with Hopper Strategized when you have a chance!

lovinangels said...

Of course, after reading about murderous pupperdogs I'm in no mood for chicken...
but this sound just divine.

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Treat and Trick said...

Great combo and looks yummy! I'm really scared of dogs...Thanks so much for stopping by and joining in my blog. Will be back to explore more...

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Nikki said...

I was raised in the country so I'm used to seeing cats and dogs bring things they've killed into the yard. I had a dog once who hated possums and would kill them if they came too close and he didn't care if they were babies or adults. And most cats think it's awesome to drag a dead mouse right up to the door so you can see their accomplishment lol..

Raising Marshmallows said...

Awe...a bird dog. How cool! Could come in handy if poultry prices skyrocket.

S. Greiner said...

WOW!

I just stopped by from voiceBoks! Great post! I'm a new follower and feel free to check out my blog Always Just A Mom (www.alwaysjustamom.blogspot.com)!

PS...your blog title rocks!

Mrs. Tuna said...

Argghhhh, I hate Blogger over the last 2 weeks, stupid upgrades, stupid Google. I can't follow or comment, sh*t, sh*t, SH*T. If you've been trying to comment or follow, please check back after Google pulls their head out of their ass.

Besides that, have a super amazing day.

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