Monday, August 15, 2011

The Vino Slut Rides Again

Okay, Mrs. Tuna is writing this blog after entirely way too much wine tasting in on her mini getaway with BeBe. Ignore any typos are perhaps a little too much oversharing based on her overindulgence of white wines not over ice. Actually I’m a little drunk right now so who knows what’ll come out through the magic typing fingers.


We opted to drive 10 hours to save 57 cents over airfare and have quality girl time. The Big Tuna rented Bebe and me a car. My truck has a eleventy million miles on the odometer, last thing he felt like doing was rescuing whiny/winey girls with a non starter vehicle.

I like to prepare for every possible temperature and social occasion and you can see my OCD (Overpacking Clothes Dilemma) tendencies.


Bebe is much more restrained……


The car is way smarter than me, I hate it. I couldn’t figure out how to start the little f*cker, it had a stupid button rather than a key (Apparently you have to put your foot on the brake). Had to ask the little chicky behind the counter for special instructions for remedial driving. Don’t get me started on the cruise control, it felt compelled to automatically slow down when I got too close to fellow race car drivers.

Overall, we had a pretty sedate drive until we hit LA, where we couldn’t get off because we were afraid the Bloods or Crypts would knife middle aged women for a dime. Bebe was the navigator, she should have stopped listening to my slutty stories which include Astro Glide and friction and focused on the directions. I literally had to drive across 70 lanes of traffic to make my exit. Nothing like the Big Tuna School of Nascar driving to make me understand the finer skills of cutting off peeps.

We are midway through our escape from the Dante’s inferno heat of Phoenix’s 105 degree heat to a chilly 71 degrees where we need Saint Bernard’s to arrive with caskets of wine to sustain us at Avila Beach. Not a problem, free wine tasting coupons from the resort that is within walking distance to downtown bars save us from those pesky DUI’s.

Since I’m too toasted to have my recipes at hand I’m cheating this week and figuring out how to wander into Trader Joe’s for all the ingredients.

Eggplant Roll-ups
Trader Joe’s Breaded Eggplant patties
1 cup shredded Mozzarella cheese
One container Premade pesto

Spread pesto on top of eggplant and sprinkle with cheese. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. There is no guarantee on time since I’m drunk and doing from memory. Good luck.


Today we went to downtown San Luis Obispo for a little retail therapy. Bebe, who is amazing in a blue short dress she bought. I am obviously not cool enough to know the difference between what is a shirt and a dress. If I wear it as a dress all my naughty parts will hang out and we know how we feel about that! Evenings here have been spent drinking ridiculous amounts of wine with some friends who are encouraging Bebe to get in touch with her wild side, which included a Wally story, a balcony fashion show with new said dress and going to bed with all her clothes on. As her true friend I will not post those pictures on Facebook, at least until I sober up
tomorrow.



37 comments:

Katertot said...

First, I'm terribly jealous of your vacation.

Second, I'm ridiculously impressed at your ability to type fluently while under the influence.

I do believe I need much more practice. I, too, tend to be a vino slut, but as such, i do not attempt TUI (typing under the influence). Hmmm...will have to try it one of these times....

Mark said...

I think I've told you before, I love BWD(Blogging While Drunk). Posts are funnier that way. Even if they're suppose to be serious.
I'm glad that you had a great time and that you didn't get in a knife fight with any L.A. gangs. That would have totally ruined your trip.
Your Friend, m.
p.s. Thank you for not posting any of your naughty parts. There is only so much I can take.
m.

The Zadge said...

The only thing you have to worry about with the Southside LA gangbangers is if you call the CRIPS the "Crypts."

And, your trip? JEALOUS, she says in the screaming font.

Kristina P. said...

Ha! Zadge just said what I was going to! I was going to say that the Crips wouldn't want you, but I'm sure they would be fine with you joining the Crypts. :)

Nicole said...

Fun. As opposed to making school lunches, which is unfun. Maybe I'll tackle my jealousy with white wine. It's after 1 pm, I'm sure I'll moderate enough to stumble to the bus stop at 3:30.

EmptyNester said...

Girls just wanna have FUN!!!

Queen B said...

OOH! I am so jealous of this trip!

dbs said...

This was a little like My Drunk Kitchen. Google it and laugh.

twelvedaysold said...

Well now I'm jealous.

Also, 70 lanes of traffic made me lol.

Shawn said...

BWAI...blogging while ability impaired! Hell, right now I am RWAI, I think this post was great but what do I know..I have been drinking some mighty fine wine!

Red Nomad OZ said...

Wow! To think we're privileged enough to actually see magic writing!!! Isn't there a religion that channels messages from God or something by writing while in a trance?? How is this different???

So jealous, but not sure exactly what of!!!

Have a great day - if you can remember why!!

I'm So Fancy said...

I'm very impressed. My fingers get all fat when I drink. No typing allowed.

Mamma has spoken said...

Ah that looks like a wonderful girlfriend time!
Lucky you!

Dee said...

I wish I had been able to go. Next year! Well, maybe I will wait and see what photos show up on FB first.

Frogs in my formula said...

Best.Blog.Post.Title.Ever. Should be a book cover.

Kimberly said...

I love posts written by intoxicated bloggers. ;)

That recipe actually sounds quite yummy. I'll have to give it a try, but watch the time... Just in case.

Sounds like you've had quite a fun trip!

Leslie said...

Since TJs FINALLY made it to KC, I appreciate the recipe. I have missed it from my San Diego days.

Manic Mommy said...

That. Looks. Fantastic!!

Good job on the drunk posting - especially including pictures AND punctuation!

CanadianMama said...

Lookin' good vino slut!!

Not Blessed Mama said...

this is my favorite recipe ever! (oh yeah, it's the Crips, not Crypts, hahaha. sorry.)

Kernut the Blond said...

It was great meeting you, BeBe and your other friends!

Thanks for letting me invite myself over, and then feeding me dinner! (I'm guessing you were probably drunk when you said 'yes', but whatevs.)

ModernMom said...

Wine tasting, retail therapy and the best blog post title ever:) Plus look how cute you are!

Hilary said...

sounds like a great trip! I know your pain with that car. Last year I had a loaner car with the start button and I had to call the dealership in tears because I couldn't start it!

Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) said...

next time...
take.
me.
with.
you.

IWASNTBLOGGEDYESTERDAY said...

drunken wino blogging !!! Loved it, I could just see you crossing the 70 lanes of traffic cutting off peeps LOL

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

Mrs Tuna, I could not love you more for bringing a cooler on vacation. Can I be an honorary vino slut?

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

Sounds like a great time! I don't have a TJ's where I live but if I had a few glasses of wine I bet I could cook that anyway. Let's see, I have breaded chicken nuggets, some apple sauce and velveeta. That'll work, right?

Lola said...

Yum! Sounds like fun. I can't wait to have a vacation.

Sinea Pies said...

Found you at FTLOB...Love your statement about chicken ala king. My sentiments exactly

blueviolet said...

Now this is an adventure extraordinaire! I'm pretty impressed with how you write a blog post under the influence, and that you managed to refrain from posting naughty pics. ;)

Accidental Baby Maker said...

haha... so glad to be back in the loop of my blogging friends... sounds fabulous.... hugely jealous!!!! missed you and your crazy stories :o)

Kathy29156 said...

LMAO, I agree with some previous comments. Blogging while drunk is hilarious. I enjoyed every word!

Kathy
http://www.thetruckerswife.com/

Nicole Mariana said...

I love your blog! Please follow me back at:
www.romanianprincess.com

XoXo Nicole Mariana

Kimberly said...

Can I vote that you blog while drunk ALL THE TIME (yea I know, way to support alcoholism Kimberly...I'm awesome like that) because you're hilarious.
Well you're hilarious not drunk too.
Astro Glide in a blog post is always a winner. What that has to do with Eggplant recipe is beyond me but it has me cracking up

Linda Medrano said...

I love SLO. It's great! And so cool! I love cool. Plus, blogging drunk is great. When you read it the next day you can enjoy it just like you never saw it before in your life! Good going Mrs. T.

Sandra said...

You're so funny! But we want the pictures of the balconi fashion show! What kind of blog is this where the content is censored until the blogger has sobered up???

cajunlicious said...

Sounds like a blast and I am so jealous wish I was sharing all that great wine!!!