Sunday, September 18, 2011

Will Blog For Food

Giant Engineering Company broke my heart, I know it’s the economy, I knew it was a business decision, I know I shouldn’t take it personally. My boss had the nerve to give me my rock star performance evaluation in the morning and then do a meet and great with HR in the afternoon.  I knew it might be coming, but I thought bought myself some time by winning a new project. They cut the middle and none of the top. F*ckers.


I had to go back and grab my four years of crap two days later. At first, security had to monitor my actions to make sure I didn’t run up and down the halls spraying graffiti and throwing computers or myself out the 30th floor window.  But they lost interest, wandered off and left me to wallow in self-pity. The survivors came by and were weepy, I spent my packing hours reassuring them that I would be fine, just fine and they should buck up and stop being big crybabies.  

Okay, I’m always about a plan, it’s the engineering brain work. First step, set up a professional  Gmail account. It’s not like mine was debbiedoesdallas@gmail. Or anything but still.   Imagine my surprise when I discovered Dawn.Tuna@gmail was taken, it’s not like I have some common name. My first reaction was to send the bitch an email demanding her to relinquish my account, but opted to add my middle name rather than get the FBI involved with identity theft. Then hours spent putting in my contacts and a generic note giving my new contact information. Got lots of feedback saying “thumbs up Buttercup, you’ll be fine” or “when one door closes another opens”.  Yeah, don’t let the door hit me in the ass.  

The Big Tuna is being supportive, he says not to worry, and we’ll be fine. I think he secretly believes I’ll greet him at the door every night in a French maid’s outfit holding a Heineken. Snort, right, it will interfere with watching Judge Judy. But I may have a little more time to cook something a little more involved than our usual fare.

Hungarian Chicken
4 chicken breasts
4 tablespoons butter
1 small onion chopped
1 clove garlic minced
1 rib celery chopped
½ bay leaf
2 sprigs parsley
½ teaspoon thyme
2 tablespoons paprika
2 tablespoon tomato paste
2 tablespoons flour
2 cups chicken broth
Salt and pepper to taste
½ cup sour cream (more if you like)

In large skillet brown chicken on both sides in half the butter. Transfer to a large saucepan. Heat remaining butter in the same skillet and cook onion, garlic, celery, bay leaf parsley, thyme and paprika until onion is wilted. Stir in tomato paste and flour. Pour in broth and stir rapidly with a wire whish. Pour mixture over chicken and simmer over low heat for 20 minutes. Stir in the sour cream and heat throughout without boiling. Sever over hot egg noodles.

If writing blogs paid real dough we’d all be on the Real Housewives of Minneapolis.  I did have a few meetings this week including a second call back interview for one place so fingers crossed.  Worse case scenario, the world on freelance consulting is calling my name. I’ll have to change my profile from working at Giant Engineering Company to Itty Bitty Consultants. Anything to get out of the house and avoid trying to figure out how to run the lawn mower without chopping off my toes or squeezing into lingerie that accents my muffin top.  Wish me luck Team Tuna!

37 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I'm keeping my fingers crossed! And some women do make a lot of money blogging, but I think it takes a lot of dedication, which I just don't have.

Mommie Dearest Strikes Again said...

I'm so sorry...that sucks. And they NEVER seem to cut from the top, do they? It makes my blood boil.

I'll be thinking happy thoughts and keeping my fingers crossed for you - good luck! The Hungarian chicken sounds delicious!

EmptyNester said...

Well, that does suck. And there's really nothing more to say about that, is there? Anyway, chin up and all that. You'll be fine. LOL

Seriously, with your savvy, someone else will scoop you up speedy quick and those other guys can shove it.

Ciao Mama's said...

Suck city and they never cut from the top a**holes! Keep your chin up and keep rockin'

LOLA said...

People are already interested in hiring you or you can consult? *sigh* I am so fucking jealous.
But I'm still sorry you have to deal with all this. Too bad most of the soaps are gone from daytime TV. If you need any watching suggestions during what I'm sure will be a very brief time without work, let me know.

So fucking jealous,
Lola

Ami said...

Come visit me. I'll bake cookies, we can laugh at Cletus (who used to live across the street but now only drives by occasionally)and I'll teach you to tie dye.

Yeah, it's plebian, but it's me.

dbs said...

Wishing you luck!

Leila said...

Wishing you speedy luck with the job search!

I am a new follower! gotomommy.blogspot.com

Laoch of Chicago said...

I like the look of Hungarian Chicken.

Red Nomad OZ said...

So what's wrong with 'Giant Engineering Consultants'???

not blessed mama said...

OH, mrs tuna. :( :( :( i am so sad for you. how dare they fire someone as awesome as you? well, i know you will find something new soon. you are too brilliant and wonderful to be unemployed long.

Sausage Fingers said...

Yikes..another casualty of corporate bullshit and greed. Bear up lass..bear up.
Don't forget the Heiney and maid outfit

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

Crossing my Fingers and Toes for luck! I hope that call back goes well. Just a note from a small business owner in case you do end up in freelance. Itty Bitty can sometimes be Just Right. You're not likely to cut out yourself!

I'm So Fancy said...

That stinks!!! Worse than my curtains!

The Zadge said...

I hope you can find a way to enjoy the unexpected time off from The Daily Grind That Is Going To Work!

blueviolet said...

I hope you find something really soon, and I'm sorry that your position was cut. I suspect that in the big picture it will end up being something even more rewarding!

Mark Himes said...

Sorry this is happening to you. But as you mentioned, there will be more time to watch Judge Judy. In fact, you can watch all the Courtroom shows!
Fingers crossed that something great is in your future.
m.

Stephanie said...

I'm impressed! You've already had job interviews? See, it's good you're off the couch...

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

I could picture you telling those do nothing upper managers my favorite Judge Judy quote:

"Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining."

Seriously, good luck, and it sounds like you are well on your way to something new VERY soon.

Sandra said...

Good luck! However, you are a career woman with an honest to God profession. You will get another job. And if you submit enough posts to In the Powder Room, you can at least afford a mani/pedi once a month...you're welcome.

The Defiant Marshmallow said...

Mrs. Tuna, I just want to say a few things.

1. I'm sorry to hear about the job. Think of it as your company simply making a big mistake and just not being aware of it. Someday they'll come crawling back when they realize how stupid they've been. And then you can make them kiss your freshly painted toes, and rub their faces in the toejam. Yeah! I like that visualization!

B. I have to apologize for not commenting on this blog more often (like, virtually never). I enjoy the hell out of it. I can't cook worth spit (not that spit and cooking have anything in common, except in certain restaurants with really obnoxious and vindictive waitstaff), but I do tell Mrs. Marshmallow about your posts. Some day, I'll even let her read them herself.

III. I think you rock.

Four: There is no fourth thing, actually. I just needed to stretch this out a little bit longer.

In all seriousness, you do rock, I am bummed about your job loss, but I know you'll be sailing along smoothly in no time. Until then, enjoy time away from the rest of us rats in the race and sample lots of new wines for me!

Hilary said...

did i read right? you got a rock star performance review in the AM and then terminated in the afternoon? Sorry, but what a F'er! i am sure things will work out in the end, and you will be happier & better off

Jean | Delightful Repast said...

So sorry about the layoff. If you figure out a way to make money blogging, *do* let *me* know! That chicken sounds good.

Nicki said...

I know I'm a new Team Tuna member, but I am truly sorry to hear about the job. If it makes you feel any better, you probably have the greatest blog name in the history of blogkind. So. There's that.

Elisabeth Hirsch said...

My fingers are crossed too :0) Best wishes!

Cathy at Wives with Knives said...

Crappy news! Sorry. I never appreciate comments like "things have a funny way of working out sometimes" but I really believe it's true.

Annie (Lady M) x said...

They didn't cut from the top? Bastards, the decision makers are saving their own skins. At least you are on a new adventure now ... good luck with the job hunting chick, I'll keep everything crossed for ya!

Kristy said...

You seem to be handling all of this quite gracefully. I'm so sorry! Hey, I was just reading about this guy who was laid off, so he started figuring out how to make money with ads on his site and started signing up at multiple online sites for freelance work and started making enough money to work from home...

mmbear said...

Go Team Tuna! Here is hoping you are successful! I know the feeling. I had saved a company more than $10,000 when I found a mistake that the accountant had done when doing the previous year's taxes and was able to get it back for the company only to have them fire me the next year because I had the nerve to get sick and be in the hospital several times and then, oh yeah, my dad got lung cancer and only had 6 monts, when really he only lasted a month, so I spent time with him and then his funeral. THEY said I was out too much!! Good thing I did not stay because the next year my health really went south and was declared disabled. Now I draw disability. Then they wonder why no one is faithful to their companies anymore! THEY need to show loyalty also. Just saying. Good Luck!

Mary@http://www.mmbearcupoftea.com

Ixy said...

I'm with Hilary - I can't believe they gave you a great performance review on the same day they let you go! Wow. That's lawsuit-worthy. Good luck with your search!

Mamma has spoken said...

Hubby is still unemployed here too. Problem here is I think he's loving the life of being a househubby. Seriously, he now cooks, cleans, does the laundry, everything that I would do when I got home from work are now done for me.
Truefully, I like it.....

Julie said...

I think it's so weird when you have to comfort people when YOU'RE the one getting screwed.

But the world IS weird isn't it?

Good luck to you. Really. I'm not even being sarcastic.

p.s. My email is debbiedoesdallas@gmail.com. But you can totally have it if you want.

Live*Laugh*Love said...

hey i am a new follower please follow me back thanks

Tara

cajunlicious said...

Sorry to hear that, keeping my fingers crossed!

1 Funky Woman said...

Well isn't that the crapper! Sorry to hear that but I kind of would like to see the maid costume come out!

Trust me, your guy will laugh when it does. We had a huge chuckle when mine came out of hiding!

You already knew you were sexy my dear, lol!

Meg

Paula said...

I'm so sorry about your job, I will be sending happy thoughts and some good job vibes your way!

Megan (Best of Fates) said...

That really sucks - I'm so sorry. Also? I now kind of want to see if some really inappropriate email addresses are already taken!