What the hey Tuna Nation, getting a flurry of likes this month. Did I say vagina, vagina, vagina or something?
Working Woman's Guide to Dinner Or........
If I Cook Chicken A La King One More Time I'll Kill Myself
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Focus Grasshopper
As much as I
love Super Boss, he has the attention span of a gnat. He is the first to confess that he is easily distracted
by side conversations, email……….donuts. Just about anything. And he retains only about half of what I say
since he brain drifts off, the female voice must operate at too high an octave
or like a dog whistle.
I had a
meeting with him and New Engineer, super shiny and smart, to discuss a
particularly challenging design issue in his paper crammed office for which we
didn’t have the project background.
“Let’s call
Joe, he has all the info”. Picks up his phone, gives a little laugh as he reads
a text from his wife, and commences to tell a cute follow up story about his
daughter. Puts the phone back down.
New Engineer:
“Now I know what you’re talking about.”
Super Boss: “What?”
Call Joe, like ET phone home.
During my
annual review as we were ticking through my previous development goals, it
dawns on him that 99.9% of my action items were preceded by something HE
was supposed to do first. During this same
group hug, I pointed out he had never sent me the job requirements for the
fancy job promotion.
“I didn’t? Let
me do it right now.” And embarks on looking through his email and then starts
reading client emails to me. 2 months
later, I’m still waiting to receive. He
compensated by giving me a nice raise and a little bonus. Scared I’ll leave and he’ll have to depend on
himself again for all his organizational shortcomings.
Coconut Lime
Chicken
4 skinless
chicken breasts
3
tablespoons olive oil
Zest of 1
large lime
1 teaspoon
cumin
2
tablespoons soy sauce
1 ½ teaspoon
kosher salt
3
tablespoons sugar
2 teaspoons
curry powder
¾ cup canned
coconut milk
Juice of 1 lime
¼ cup chopped
cilantro.
Put chicken
breasts in a ziplock. In a bowl, combine oil, lime zest, cumin, soy sauce, salt,
sugar, curry, coconut milk and lime juice and pour over chicken. Marinade for
at least 2 hours or better overnight.
Grill chicken until done. If you save the marinade and cook in a small
sauce pan boiling for 4 or 5 minutes to kill the bacteria it is worth the
effort. You can either serve over rice
or better in tortillas with lettuce and tomatoes. Garnish with cilantro.
The big
galute is also like having a teen boy who speaks before thinking the whole
thing through. One of our goals in 2016
is to work more on the marketing efforts. I am trying to not channel the spirt
of Beer Girl, I certainly don’t have her giggle or boobs. I’d set up a meet and greet with a
particularly short architect we’d like to do a little business with. They were hitting off famously, talking about
San Diego and golf games. I zone out at this point since golf is a ridiculous
game, the same response when it comes on TV and I fall asleep to their droning
stiff upper lip voices.
And then Super
Boss launches into to a funny golf story involving a side bet that his buddy
could drive a ball from he’s knees further that the MIDGET that was doing a golf promotion. Snapped me right back into
it. He knew it was wrong as soon as he
said it but couldn’t help himself, he didn’t know how to stop, he said midget 5
more times. Stop. Talking. Now. As we stood up and said goodbye, I couldn’t
help but notice said architect only came up to my armpit. No hard feelings I’m
sure. I’ve got three more potential client
meetings scheduled with Super Boss this week. Focus Grasshopper, snatch the
pebble from my hand. Wish me luck Team Tuna.
Sunday, February 7, 2016
Hello. It's me.
Hello. It’s me.
I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to hear me.
(Adele)
Okay, maybe it hasn’t been years. But it certainly has been more than
45 minutes. Long enough for a beer run
certainly. But truth be told Team Tuna, misery is what sparks the snarky part
of me. Since leaving Endless
Engineering, it has been coasting along. I did hear that Beer Girl with her
long blond hair extensions and fake boobs left, no doubt once I bailed she was over
faced with having to do her own freaking job.
But my Facebook page has been suddenly getting a little action including
a few new followers in the last week, thanks Kathy and Marion. We’ve never met but I am a bit of a follower
whore. The daily views could be by someone who recently defriended me, I wonder
if they think I might write a post about them. It could happen. Blocking me
from you Facebook is the equivalent to an electronic restraining order. And very tempting.
Things however been a bit jammed packed with buying a house, selling a
house, packing and lugging our shit across town. The same faithful friends showed up on moving
day but it only served to show that not only are we 15 years older, so are our
friends. The Big Tuna and I had a Thirty
Three and a third wedding anniversary party to celebrate the new digs. A third of
a century, that’s in real time, not dog years.
New House View
Additionally, I did a cross country trip with Sheldon to move her from
the icy east coast since the Brit got a fab job in Seattle. Word to the wise,
never, ever, ever, get off the Texas interstate during an icy storm to drive on
the frontage road because it might appear it would be faster. Never. Ever. Mommy’s imaginary brake pedal was in
overdrive. At least now we’re on the same time zone to talk on the phone.
Better Engineering is still pretty entertaining. I mean it
still has its challenges with the 12-year olds, Grumpy Guy and Super Boss but
meh, its fine. The other Project Manager stole one of my
12-year olds and replaced him with an Autistic Engineer, Augie. The sole reason they assigned said engineer
to me was to document him to be fired with my amazing way with writing words. Something
all of you already know if you’re reading this blog. It didn’t bode well for
him when he tried to awkwardly flirt with me.
“Umm… Augie, I’m old enough to be your mom.”
“Not possible, how old are you” as he fidgeted and wrapped
his arms around his own waist to give himself a little self-hug love.
“52” I shared.
“That’s WAAAAAY older than my mom! I mean WAY older.”
This is
going on your permanent record for sure. Fortunately I made him go through
enough flaming hoops to make him quit rather than having to fire him. Sigh, everything
I learned about managing staff I learned by being the parent to a teenager.
Since I am
still working a zillion hours a week, I did stumble upon an easy crockpot
meatloaf. This is after all a recipe
blog.
Slow Cooker
Meatloaf
2-pounds
ground beef
½ pound
ground Italian sausage
1 onion
finely chopped
3 large
carrots halved
2 eggs
1 ½ cups
ketchup divided
¾ cup
seasoned breadcrumbs
¼ cup light
brown sugar
2
tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
2 teaspoons
salt
1 teaspoon
garlic powder divided
1 teaspoon
pepper
½ teaspoon
yellow mustard
Place
carrots in the bottom of your crockpot. Combine beef, sausage, onion, ¾ cup
ketchup, breadcrumbs, eggs, ½ teaspoon garlic powder, Worcestershire, salt, pepper,
mx well with your hands. You won’t die from touching it, do it. Form meat into a loaf and place gently on top
of carrots. In same bowl, mix remaining
ingredients and spread over the top of the loaf. Cover and cook on low of 8
hours. If you felt inclined, you could
serve over some mashed potatoes.
Maybe this
little post will inspire me to crank out more posts. I could write about the
drunk employee I just fired, Super Boss’ major ADD, world domination of the volunteer
organizations or my brand new horse I just bought for a dollar. Dealer’s choice. So show me a little love by
commenting so I know I’m not in the dead zone. Good week Team Tuna.
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Tuna in the House?
Hmmm....Mrs. Tuna had two new Facebook looks this week, is this a sign she should write something new?
Friday, January 30, 2015
Mommy Dearest
Better Engineering is well, better, way better. I can’t believe I’ve been there for almost
nine months, almost enough time to birth a baby. No more Endless Engineering,
no longer being made to feel dumber than a rock, and best of all no fantastically
fake Beer Girl. My new manager, Super Boss, tells me that I’m freaking amazing
and allows me to run with scissors through the halls. They
even hired me a couple of 12-year old engineers to do a lot of the heavy
lifting who are practically peeing their pants in their giddy excitement of
being on a grownup team.
But recently I have noticed a shift in how the professional world
perceives me now. I had a field meeting for a roadway design
project that is located on tribal land with official state transportation oversight. A major requirement for the visit where you
play in traffic is to wear an attractive safety vest and hardhat. Stunning
visual, me and helmet hair. One of our
sub consultants, Little Kenny, was far from that. Not only did he have to
borrow a vest, we practically had to zip two of them together to straddle his
massive girth. The tribe gracious
invited us to lunch at their casino where Little Kenny visited the buffet,
three times to the point where the waitress offered him a bib. Burp, I was afraid he was going to swallow me
whole like a boa constrictor.
As we were saying our solemn goodbyes with steady handclasps, Kenny leapt
upon me with a sweaty embrace declaring he just “gotta hug all the ladies”. Awwwkkkkk, stop it, I am 15 years older than
your target demographic. I know I’m the
only female here but hug Joe, my co-worker, if you need to feel the love.
The following week, on the way to another meeting, I recount the tale
to Super Boss explaining that I work hard at radiating my super personal space
bubble and my firm man handshake. Then as I provide the introduction to an old
client, I stick out my hand, only to get, “we’ve known each other a long time”
hug. What the hell is going on? Am I in an alternate universe? I usual nip this
shit in the bud. I once told a guy to stop calling me girl since hadn’t been a
girl since I got my period at twelve in front of six coworkers.
Been feeling the need for less bread and more veggies in my diet so
here is a little salad gig recipe my Sistah gave me.
Cashew Broccoli Salad
2 bunches raw broccoli cut into bite size pieces
1 pound cooked and crumbled bacon
¼ cup raisins
½ cup cashews
1 cup mayo
½ sugar
½ teaspoon white vinegar
Mix broccoli, bacon, raisins and cashews in a bowl. In separate bowl
whisk together mayo, sugar and vinegar and pour over other. Chill several hours
before serving.
At my husband’s holiday soiree I had an epiphany about all this free
love as a young sale rep moved in for a little squeeze. My thirties and forties flashed before my
eyes. I have transitioned from being the Hot Chick to the comfortable Mom Hug.
Ughh. Come here you widdle baby, didum have a no good horrible day? There, there, come a little closer, so I can
whip you with some wire hangers like Joan Crawford. I am now going to go gargle with a little Botox
and rest my weary head. I’d sign this
with XOXOXO but I don’t want to give any of you any ideas. Good week Team Tuna.
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Party Pooper
It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to, cry if I want to. Shit, now
that little ditty is stuck in my head, yours too now I suppose. You’re
welcome.
Sheldon is turning, gasp, 25 years old! This is simply not possible, I
cannot be the mother of a grown ass woman.
Like really grown up, not the young adult that tries to insist you can’t
tell them what to do because they are over 18. As you make their cell phone,
tuition, and car insurance payment.
In my head I am still that thin, happening, young mom of thirty five.
So essentially, I had Sheldon when I was 10, no problem, I can accept
that. Until I walk by a mirror and see
the wrinkled neck line and cellulite that has now turned doughy. Maybe I’ll just dim the lights and take off
my glasses so I look a bit softer and more fuzzy.
Sheldon and the Brit are still living away from the mother ship of
Arizona in far, far away Pennsylvania/Maryland but I’m jetting in for her big
day. I’ll get to see their new
adventures on the east coast including spending the day at her new job as a shiny
new middle school math teacher. I am Show & Tell. Since everyone should have their favorite
meal on their birthday below is hers.
Beef Stroganoff
1 pound beef cubed
½ cup flour
Salt and pepper to taste
3 tablespoons olive oil
2 cans beef consume
½ cup sour cream
Combine flour, salt and pepper in a bowl. Dredge meat in flour
mixture. Heat oil in a large skillet and brown meat on all sides. Remove with
slotted spoon and place in a saucepan. Add consume and cook on medium heat for
20 minutes covered. Add sour cream and cook until heated throughout. Do not
boil. Serve over hot egg noodles.
As a big surprise, I’ve created a Prezi presentation that shows our
little flower 25-year evolution. Shhhh….I’m not telling her until her actually
birthday. It’s like fancy Microsoft PowerPoint, a little exposure tip from Beer
Girl.
Above are two links, one with and one without music played by our baby
girl while she was in Russia. I did two because the musical one might make your
computer choke and die since it’s so big. In the lower right corner of the
presentation, there is button that
allows you to run it on a loop, pick 4 second interval. Do It. Now. Please, no
snarky remarks about Mrs. Tuna’s polygamist hair or said scrunchies. Heart
you Team Tuna!
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
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