Now that the Royal Wedding and mingling with the malcontent students
is over, I feel like I have nothing entertaining to spill. I peruse your blogs wishing I had two or
three quips to string together into something that resembles an amusing blog
post. But I have an excuse, my horoscope
told me to wait. “There is something satisfying about a good rant, and you
might let yourself go on and on, especially in writing. But don’t deliver this
in writing to anyone, sit on it awhile. “
See, I have a note to the principal.
Last weekend, I drove from Phoenix to Sheldon and the Brit’s new hood
in Orange County. No spotting of Lisa Vanderpump or Adrienne Maloof. Not that I,
ummm know about those housewives or anything. It’s an
adorable two bedroom closet for a mere king’s ransom every month. Rather than sunning and funning, Sheldon and
I splurged and purged all their co-mingling crud. It was a combination of his apartment, her
storage unit and all the wedding gifts including an unassembled dinette set. Sheldon was pretty handy and finished putting
together the chairs because as a woman, she knows how to read the directions. The
son in law had to conveniently work all weekend to avoid the pitching/organizing
fray. Mostly, it made everybody like
cranky overtired toddlers who needed to be put down for naps.
When I arrived Friday night I parked in the designated permit only
space, querying Sheldon who assured me I had permission from property
management. Let’s just say when I wandered out Saturday morning with several unpacked
“borrowed” items to take back to Phoenix, I wasn’t stunned to discover it had
been towed away. A mere $310 buckaroos later,
my little Ford Focus was sprung from car jail.
I love Southern Cali, so beautiful with soothing ocean waves and
glorious flora. But it is filled with all those annoying athletic and fit vegans
sipping their soy lattes. Fuckers. It
made me feel frumpy and lumpy, like someone who eats sticks of butter for snack
time. Thank goodness the ritzy Starbucks has a wine and cheese happy hour to
drown my sorrows. I’m embracing it, so
here’s a nice fatty meal.
Fettuccine with Scallops with Lemons
1 pound green
1 pound fettuccine
5 Tablespoons butter (yes five, feel it adhering to your thighs)
¼ cup fresh lemon juice, about 4 lemons
1 pound scallops
2 cloves garlic
Salt to taste
Cook green beans as 1-inch pieces. Cook pasta per directions. Sauté
minced garlic in 1 tablespoon butter. Add scallops and cook for two minutes.
Add beans and pasta. Simmer until scallops are opaque. Add lemon juice and remaining
butter. Serve with parmesan cheese.
The newlyweds are putting off babies for the time being. Instead, they
have their rescue kitty, Awesome to fulfill their parental desires. It’s like a
test run, we’ve all done that. “Getting a puppy is great training for kids”. Snort,
right. Besides, we all know the second bedroom is for me to visit.
You are welcome to pet me now. #youaremyslave
