Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Canaries in the Mine

Once again my friends it’s story time for the whipped and abused worker bees. Many, many moons ago, okay maybe six months ago, Bebe took a job out of sunny Arizona to Bum F**k Egypt (BFE) in order to make the mortgage payment. She left behind Bubba who is now reduced to occasional conjugal visits when I’m not camped in her kitchen slopping down wine when she circles back to the motherland. Because she is a card carrying smarty she was not intimidated by moving out of the engineering industry into a world of mining where you need canaries strapped to your helmet. Little did she know it wasn’t the poisonous gas that would create peril, but the rise and fall of another Mean Girl Table.

The firm, Midas Touch Mineral, relocated their fancy pants operations and Bebe would be replacing the executive’s, executive’s assistant who didn’t want to uproot herself and move to Poketown, USA. The problem is that once Bebe arrived on the scene and showed her mad people skills the little backstabber wouldn’t leave. Bebe and I have much different interoffice people skills. She takes the refined approach of building consensus, team spirit, put on a happy face, blah, blah, blah. I lay it all out there, hey Sparky, get a move on.

In honor of My Best Friend’s crappy week, here is a recipe we’ve shared before over the grill.

Steak Fajitas Marinade
2 envelopes Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing
½ cup olive oil
½ cup water
2 limes

Jarred salsa
Sour cream
Shredded cheddar cheese

Mix dressing, oil and water ingredients into a paste, you can add a bit more water if it’s not mixing well. Cut limes in half, squeeze in juice and throw rinds and steak in before you leave for work in stick in the fridge. Grill steak to liking, (me? Medium rare, otherwise you should just chew on old shoe leather). Slice meat, place on tortillas with whatever fixings float your boat.

But reluctantly the Prima Donna skulked out of the immediate vicinity but somehow was able to maintain a contract position from four hours away where she continues to poison the well with snide comments. “Donna” did have to give up her company email address which now trickles through Bebe inbox.

Hey Donna,

I was at the show and tell meeting last night with Dandy Don who sat across from me. We talked a bit and I told him you and I have been friends since the stone ages. He said they sure missed you and that the new gal Bebe just isn’t getting it. Haha

Happy Wednesday!!!
Your friend, the idiot who didn’t send to your new email address.

My suggestion:
Dear Idiot,
I’m sure you didn’t mean to be an insensitive b*tch. Please note Donna’s correct email address for your records to avoid future errors. Hope you have a pleasant and joyous holiday season.

But she is much more politically correct. Bebe sent the email onto Donna "this came to your former address" and sent it onto Dandy with a message "please help me be a better employee." The witch was "mortified" (more like afraid she was going to lose her contract job) .Argggg, as your true BFF, I can come up and kick their a**. But it might have to wait until the temperatures rise above the freezing mark, you know what a delicate flower I am.


blueviolet said...

Do you think that an italian dressing mix would work also?

Camille said...

My guess is Dandy is lookin for a cat fight and plotted the whole thing out via a mind warp.....little did he know that Bebe's a classy gal and doesn't use her claws. Poor Donna :(

I just ate lunch but steak fajitas still look yummy!!!

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

That sounds so good...I am hungry now!

CkretsGalore said...

It definitely sounds good! I wanna try that for sure.

Anonymous said...

Ahh. Your friend did rather well. Voila! I'd had blown the roof.

p.s. I love the sound of your friendship! :)

Anonymous said...


ModernMom said...

Oh nothing like a little drama before the holidays :(

Your food sounds delish!

Kristina P. said...

I love how you post recipes with your stories. Very clever.

Motherboard said...

I hate mean girls. They suck. Your Fajitas, however, sound yummy!

dbs said...

Wow. I wish I was one of your friends. :)

Not Blessed Mama said...

i was just wondering, is poketown where pokemon are from?

hot girl said...


Ca88andra said...

I love fajitas - will have to try that recipe!

Marla said...

These are the things I miss about working in an office....NOT!

Great post.