Thursday, December 16, 2010

Nanook, Ice Princess of the North

I confess, last year was an epic failure for holiday greetings. I could lay out my arguments about why I didn’t meet the appointed deadline, how I thought I’d turn them into New Year’s notes, Valentine Days sweeties, Easter greetings but Fourth of July cards just seemed so wrong. So let’s all pretend they got lost in the mail and just start anew and focus on blogs.

The Big Tuna and I returned to the motherland for our second nuptials of the year. I have unfurled my numb fingers and blue lips to craft my weekly adventures to the land of big hair and fake tans. As much as I love Team Tuna the months July and December do not strike me as the most amazing wedding seasons but I manned up with my mittens and earmuffs and headed East.



The first challenge was naturally to find a winter coat. You would think the layer of fat I’ve put on since my last frosty journey 10 years ago would have kept me cozy, but in the Valley of the Sun they only sell faux frocks. I had to pay bazillion dollars for a coat I won’t wear again until I’m too plump to buckle it. On the plane my sweet hubby offered to keep me warm by participating in the “mile high club”. Yeah, sweet. Except we both had aisle seats in the cattle car section and it would blocked the drink cart.

I anxiously watched the weather forecast and reassured myself that tennis shoes with a cocktail dress would be perfectly acceptable at a black tie event since I didn’t own real winter boots. It was guaranteed I would drape banquet table cloths around my legs if I felt any drafts. I fell into a full fledged panic attack when viewing Modern Mom’s 1st Vlog post showing 2 feet of snow. I officially hate her, she is so perky and adorable, and it makes me feel like a giant walrus on the ice. Okay, maybe I don’t really hate her it would be too much like kicking Bambi. I hope she didn’t have to resort to eating one of her young to survive.

Next I heard a rumor that two of our nephews had chicken pox. This would be routine, expect that are in their TWENTIES. As a full fledge germ phobic I refused to arrange a meet up dinner at their house much to their dismay. I am one of those people that carry around their own hand sanitizer and send staff home if they sneeze outside my office. Truth be told, my mom said I’d had the pox when Sheldon came down with it as a tot but since I couldn’t remember I wasn’t taking any chances. Fortunately their pediatrician cleared them to attend the wedding at the last minute. In honor of the Tuna family, this week’s recipe is Tuna Casserole.

Tuna Casserole
1 pound cooked medium pasta shells
2 cans tuna drained and flaked
2 cans cream of mushroom soup
1 cup peas-optional
½ cup bread crumbs
1 cups shredded cheddar cheese

Mix pasta, tuna, soup and peas in a casserole dish. I consider peas optional because I really dislike them; they remind me of bloated ticks. Sprinkle top with bread crumbs and cheese. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. We ate so much of this when we were first married because it was cheap that the Big Tuna has refused to eat it in 20 years.

I’d forgotten the excitement of driving on the Garden State Parkway, your 4 lanes of traffic spread out to 87 toll booth lanes where you throw you coins in a bucket and merge together on the backside. As a faithful Nascar observer the Big Tuna was in his element. He viewed the tailgating as drafting the toll booths as pit stops. Thankfully I had perpetual brain freeze since it was so cold and blocked it all out. As far as I’m concerned if I never see another snowflake it will be too soon.

20 comments:

Missy said...

LOL! You are too funny! Stay warm and off the roads...

1 Funky Woman said...

Well you can't visit me then! I spent my day shoveling here in Iowa. I have to say bloated ticks, how funny! Cute picture. You don't look too cold!

Megan

Heather said...

Snow and chicken pox! You are a trooper!

Camille said...

Welcome back to the real world ;) Fake tans....gotta love AZ baby!

The Zadge said...

East Coast weather sucks!

ModernMom said...

LOL Oh sweetie I could have shipoped you a coat to wear! You make me laugh out loud!
Thanks for the shout out and for not hating me:)
Oh and for telling us to put bread crumbs on top of the tuna casserole. How did I not know to try this!

My Big Secret Blog :) said...

The tennis shoes were the highlight for me! Baked pasta with soup and cheese, huh? I'm going try that!

Pamela said...

Too funny! I love that your hubby suggested the "Mile High Club" to keep you warm - can't blame the guy for trying;)

blueviolet said...

I have always wondered about the mile high club but as a fellow germophobe, I simply couldn't participate in such activities in that cesspool of germs they call a bathroom.

Jersey still has the coin baskets? I kinda miss those. I've been stuck with having to drop coins one by one in machine slots now. It's ridiculous!

CkretsGalore said...

I just left Northern Alberta where it is crappy cold. Winter blows!

FreeFlying said...

Chicken pox in their 20s? That is beyond unfortunate!

Sarah @ Life as a Movie said...

I think I can speak for all of us when I say thank you for bringing smiles to our faces time after time. I personally want to thank you for putting that image in my head of your husband saying "mile high club." OMG too funny, you're the best. Oh, and thanks for the tip on bread crumbs, I love tuna casserole and can't wait to try it!

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

Mrs Tuna, you are killing me, thanks for stopping by my blog! PS. Don't me started in the Garden State Parkway. It's an art form to drive through the tolls.

Mrs4444 said...

Mile High Club--That was really funny!! Bloated ticks? No thank you :) While I live in snow country, I can't imagine taking time off from work to go from warm to cold! I hope the wedding was fun! :)

Marla said...

Oh my heavens. You crack me up. Your description of peas as bloated ticks has left me wondering if I will ever eat another pea.

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

I think that tennis shoes with a cocktail dress should not only be acceptable but the norm!

Sandra said...

Your nephews had the chicken pox in their twenties???? Yuck. That's gotta suck!
You are one funny lady! Glad Mr.Tuna enjoyed his fake Nascar experience!

Not Blessed Mama said...

It is a deep, dark secret of mine that I love love love tuna casserole. Reminds me of my childhood- like Top Ramen. Looking back, I'd have to say we were pretty damn poor.

My Big Secret Blog :) said...

Dear Mrs. Tuna,

It was one of those things I did when I ready to rip my head apart last night because I was so furious with myself. My head told me this- you blog for so many hours a day and no one cares- bam! I stopped following a handful of people I've just begun to know so there won't be any hurt. I guess they do care, huh? Sorry. Forgive me?

Shawn Becker said...

Two of my Grand Kiddo's love Tuna Casserole but must admit that I always have to call my Daughter for the recipe. Now, thanks to you, I can make them their favorite dish without my Daughter saying " OH Mom, didn't you write it down the last time you asked me?"
I am a new follower from the MMOM Hop.
Shawn