Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Fatal Attraction

Cupid is skulking around the fringes of February, causing me to reflect on the lure that bound the Big Tuna and me together. I read a scientific study, okay maybe I read it in the National Enquirer, that you tend to pick a mate that looks hauntingly like you. That’s because it’s like looking in a familiar mirror, great, nothing like being attracted to someone who reminds you of your brother. Okay, now we’ve all thrown up a little in our mouths we can move on. This was confirmed by our trip to the Big Tuna’s 20 year class reunion.


Honey, how about this black velvet skirt and fancy red top to wear? Sure, looks fine, pack that, whatever. We arrive at the big event, wanna guess the school colors, you got it, BLACK and RED. Dude, really? Even the name tags fit the color scheme, black for alumni and red for the spouses. My saving grace was the couple that stood up at our nuptials gave me someone other than the wait staff and chaperones to talk to. The same married man that had given me the impression that he should have starred on the Dukes of Hazard was strangely surrounded by a giant pocket protection crowd. I had him pegged as more of shop class kind of guy rather than chess club.

On my way to the bar for a refill of white wine over ice, I was accosted by a slightly weaving woman, who insisted we’d had home economics together. Girlfriend, you must be mistaken, see my name is written in RED. But I just talked to you brother, the Big Tuna and after all, you’re wearing the school colors. Arghhhhh. We could not have less in common perhaps that is the glue that has held us together for almost 30 years. He’s meat and potatoes, I’m faux vegetarian. Shoot he’d never even eaten broccoli until he met me. Starbucks has given me a gold card, he drinks Pepsi with donuts. He likes fast sand cars in the dunes, I had to take Dramamine when we visited Disneyland. In honor Valentine’s Day, here is a recipe from Cosmo magazine. The claim is if you make it, your man will pop the big question.

Engagement Chicken
• 1 whole chicken (approx. 3 lb.)
• 2 medium lemons
• Fresh lemon juice (1/2 cup)
• Kosher or sea salt
• Ground black pepper

Place rack in upper third of oven and preheat to 400 degrees. Wash chicken inside and out with cold water, remove the giblets, then let the chicken drain, cavity down, in a colander until it reaches room temp (about 15 minutes). Pat dry with paper towels. Pour lemon juice all over the chicken (inside and outside). Season with salt and pepper. Prick the whole lemons three times with a fork and place deep inside the cavity. (Tip: If lemons are hard, roll on countertop with your palm to get juices flowing.) Place the bird breast-side down on a rack in a roasting pan, lower heat to 350 degrees and bake uncovered for 15 minutes. Remove from oven and turn it breast-side up; return it to oven for 35 minutes more. Test for doneness—a meat thermometer inserted in the thigh should read 180 degrees, or juices should run clear when chicken is pricked with a fork. Continue baking if necessary. Let chicken cool for a few minutes before carving.

But my official arm candy has a few interesting sensitive secrets. He’s a sucker for musicals and plays, he stops for little old couples broken down on the side of the road and always offers me the last shrimp. Since I have never understood the ins and outs of haikus, something about so many syllables, with some many lines, blah, blah, blah, I will instead wish my sweetie, Happy VD!! Valentine’s Day, get your minds out of the gutter.

55 comments:

Amy said...

Before I make this yummy-sounding dish, I want to know just what exactly IS the question he is going to ask?! Hehe

Manzanita said...

hummmm. So that chicken is supposed to make the guy pop the question?
Is there something in it that's an aphrodisiac? I wouldn't know.

Class reunions are always interesting. Did the band play the kind of music you used to dance to? That's always fun.
Love and peace.

dbs said...

The National Enquirer is a writing project for gifted middle-schoolers.
P.S. Come and visit my blog because I BAKED something and I think you'd be proud of me.

CanadianMama said...

Wow, almost thirty years - that is awesome!
ps. Hopefully I don't look like M. He's 250lbs and bald (but in a really hot way)!!

The Zadge said...

I think I need a date before I can make that dish. Know any good catches in Colorado, Mrs. Tuna?

Camille said...

I always wondered that....so in 30 years am I going to turn into a tall asian???? hmmmm, I wouldn't mind so much as long as I were still a woman and Asian thin!

Ami said...

I can't imagine going to a class reunion.
I didn't like those people when I was incarcerated with them. I am sure I'd still dislike them now.

However, I do like baked chicken.
:)

I'm So Fancy said...

This is why I would NEVER take H to a reunion. Somethings are better left in the past...

Red Nomad OZ said...

Engagement chicken?? You're kidding, right? NO?? Now I've heard everything!!

Have a great VD!!

Ms.Wasteland said...

I'm so glad my husband and I never went to any of our reunions.

blueviolet said...

Your sweetie sounds like an all-around perfect guy.

PS. I'm never serving that chicken. The last thing I want is a proposal. LOL

Anonymous said...

As your BFF from BFE. . . .I know you look marvelous in red!

Life As I Know It said...

I've heard the same thing - that we are attracted to people who look similar to us. And I've noticed it when I look at married couples...they look alike! Freaky.

Heather said...

How sweet. Hope you have thirty more!!

I am going to make this chicken and see if he proposes to me again!!

Lisa ~Suburban Retreat~ said...

I always thought we were attracted to someone akin to our dear Dads! Either way it goes for me ... it's a scary prospect! I'll pass the recipe on to my dear stepdaughter who would love the question to be 'popped' anytime soon!

Hilary said...

WOW! That is some story! I would have been mildly freaked and mildly thrilled at the same time... it is pretty cool

jdracecar said...

Hey! I don't think my husband looks anything like me and I don't have any brothers, so I am not sure about that. You can see a picture of me and my hubby that I posted today for my Valentine's Day post. My sweetie is such a sensitive guy too, he chokes up at the cutest things and makes me love him even more!

Kristy said...

Engagement chicken? Love it! I always am more inclined to think that a couple is going to "make it" if they look like they could be brother and sister. Sounds weird, but I have noticed that.

My Big Secret Blog :) said...

I'm smiling about the fact that you'll are so perfect for each other!

Cat Chat With Caren And Cody said...

Rachael Ray and Ina Garten both have recipes that are supposed to lead to engagements as well! lol

Ohhhh and for the record...my husband and I couldn't look LESS alike! :)

Missy said...

Great post!
I hate reunions!!!

Marla said...

I am never disappointed by your take on life. Brilliant Tuna! When I went to my husband's 10 year reunion about a hundred years ago, I danced with an amazingly gorgeous man. It was my only recourse since Bob was busy talking to all the stupid cheerleaders swooning over him. Who knew? Of course, we never went to another reunion, his idea not mine. I would have been ok dancing with Mr. Gorgeous again if I HAD to.

Thanks for all the comments over on my blog. How fun to know you know what I am talking about.
:-)

The Empress said...

Oh, I should email you with stories on h.s. reunions.

WOW.

Sandra said...

Awww, look at you all sappy and such! I love it!
Your hubby sounds like such a tender heart.

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

I think you may be right about having less in common being good glue! Then again it may just be that those give you the last shrimp guys are absolutely keepers ; )

EmptyNester said...

I'm impressed that y'all even went to the reunion. I wouldn't go to a place with those kids from high school if my life depended on it! LOL

Lemon chicken, huh? Better go call my unmarried daughters to warn them NEVER to make that for their boytoys! LOL

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

My husband's last class reunion was held at a campground. As the tail end of a hurricane came though. It was also BYOB, and BYOF.(bring your own food)

Luckily, I stepped on a bees nest prior to it, and sadly could not attend this showstopping event.

julie gardner said...

I'm for sure making the Engagement Chicken on Valentine's Day.

Yes, I've been married for almost 15 years.

But I might as well see what happens. If he can't pop the question, perhaps he'll be inspired in some other ways.

And I don't mean sex. He doesn't need inspiration there. Yet.

I mean like fixing the drooping drawer in the kitchen. Or fertilizing our dying lawn which a friend recently asked if we were intentionally killing for the purposes of relandscaping.

This made me wonder: IF the grass were alive, why would we kill it to put in new, living grass?

What were we talking about? Ah yes. Engagement Chicken.

Yum.

Annie (Lady M) x said...

Aww your hubby sounds like the proverbial 'rough diamond'. I love rough diamonds I do.

And that recipe sounds like the dogs danglies! Nice one dahlink! mwhahh! x

tulpen said...

I skipped the recipe 'cause my husband does most of the cooking. Maybe something that's kept us together these 14 years. That, and we look like siblings. Also skipping? Any and all reunion functions. *shudder*

Coupon Queen said...

What a great story, I went to my 10th reunion and hated it and haven't been back. Basically all anyone wants to know is if you make any money. I guess as we get into our 40+ reunions we can all compare our medical procedures, that should be fun. ;)

myevil3yearold said...

As long as I don't grown hair on my nose like he does I'll take it.

Mamma has spoken said...

Kuddos for going to his class reunion. I went to hubby's 25 years ago. Swore I wounldn't do it again and I have lived up to this, including mine.

Sheila Siler said...

Funny - my husband is 6'4" and I am 5'3". Couldn't be more opposites in personality. But 22 years later we're still here in all of our glory. Glad to find you from the Follow Friday over 50 bloghop. Have a good one!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

As much as I love my husband, I'm so glad I don't look like him. He's a scruffy farmer, 20 years my senior, so I'd be pretty miffed if anyone said I did!!!

Found you through Friday blog hop.
CJ

Facing50Blog.com said...

Hubby and I are complete opposites in looks and personalities. Luckily there is alos an age difference and I don't have to go to any school reunions...his old class mates would be wearing deaf aids and walking around with zimmer frames if we went to one of his!

Missy Schranz said...

Howdy! I found your site on the blog hop and I am your "newest" follower!!! When you get a moment, please stop on by and see my blog!!

Missy
Http://missyschraz.blogspot.com

Frogs in my formula said...

Engagement chicken? Bwahahaha.

Meara said...

Thanks so much for all your comments on Not Twenty-Seven Yet. I think there is definitely something to your theory! I look so much like my husband and his family that the last time I went to church with them, their pastor shook my hand and said to my mother-in-law, "Oh, I don't think I've ever met your daughter!"

Marissa said...

That engagement chicken will definitely work if the woman serving it is wearing only strappy high heels and is also drenched in lemon juice.

sim only plans said...

As much as I love my husband, I'm so glad I don't look like him. He's a scruffy farmer, 20 years my senior, so I'd be pretty miffed if anyone said I did!!!

Debbie said...

I have heard about engagement chicken before but had forgotten all about it!
And we know some couples who have grown to look eerily similar over the years.

IWASNTBLOGGEDYESTERDAY said...

I've never been to a reunion,theres on coming up this year...will I or won't I ?

oh something for you over on my blog :)

Anne @ The Frump Factor said...

Damn, woman! I hate cooking, and therefore thought I had no interest in food blogs, but you're funny! Now I have to re-think all my pre-conceived notions about blogs with recipes. Thanks for visiting my blog recently, and keep up the good work here! I wonder if you are powerful enough to make me want to cook again....

Kimberley said...

Good morning! New follower from Say Hi Sunday. You crack me up! Drop by and see me if you get the chance, thanks!

Kimberley
http://davisdailydose.blogspot.com/

3 Giggly Monsters said...

Hi I am a new follower from Say Hi Sunday. I would love a follow back at

http://megankayden.blogspot.com/

Mrs4444 said...

Pretty funny (and awkward). Hey, will you please send me your email address--I always want to reply to your comments but get "NO reply Blogger" when I hit reply. If I get it just once, I'll be able to always have it for the future :) thanks.

ModernMom said...

I am so glad both Hubby and I are anti High School reunion!! Ug.
Chicken sounds fab:)

FreeFlying said...

Haha! I love that he was such a guy that he didn't even bother to think about the color issues with your outfit. "Eh? You're thinking about wearing a polka dot bikini to this black tie event? Sounds perfect." Big Tuna cracks me up.

Sarah @ Life as a Movie said...

Oh I feel for ya on that one. My brother and I are the only ones in the family who are ALWAYS pathetically single. All my step brothers and sisters sit with their spouses and children for picture time, I get stuck with my brother next to me and my children as if we were married, ugh! And I'm the one who gets stuck with riding with him or pairing with him and I'm always terrified people will think we're a couple. The horror!
Do you have a recipe for hooking-a-man-chicken?

Kernut the Blond said...

Aww, I liked the ending best :) So cute that you two have so many opposite tastes, but still get along great. This gives me hope for my Match.com dates.

Lemon Pepper Chicken! My dad used to make that, but with the jarred spices instead of real lemons. Maybe that's why my parents are divorced. Use fresh ingredients people! :)

raisingmarshmallows said...

Mmmm...made my mouth water.

Nikki

bailey said...

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i enjoyed reading your posts

gaelikaa said...

Heck, even if you don't 'work' in the official sense, deciding what's for dinner is still a big deal....for sure. Nice Valentine's day post.

Bella Michelle said...

We (my dear husband and I) have determined that marrying someone who looks like you is the ultimate form of vanity...no one was suitable until they were as cute as we (individually) were.

Signed,
wife of vaguely familiar looking guy....