The Good Bra

I have a little secret for all of you so be sure to carefully read the end of this blog for an incentive.

If I wasn’t busy having an online affair with Sandra from absolutelynarcissism.co I would be having a major girl crush on Alicia Florrick from the Good Wife. She is sleek and elegant, nary a hair out of place. I always arrive on the scene with what I fondly call “the Lassie look”. The hair doo that looks like I’ve been riding with my head out the driver’s car window at 50 mph.

With lack of employment, I have no reason to ensure I have pressed suits and starched shirts. My drycleaner sent me a Thinking of You card. But I find myself rationalizing that I should not save the Good Bra anymore. You know what I’m talking about. The smooth nude slightly lacey bra you bought at Victoria’s Secret. The one you wear under the chic dress with your FM (F*ck Me) black pumps. Not the formally white, now slightly blue, with frayed straps. Or maybe the gray sports bra that straps your double A’s to your boyish figure. Or the one where the seam now makes you look like you have skewed nipples.

I forget what it’s like to dig out pantyhose without runs and slap on more than mascara on my pale eyelashes. But today, I have a networking breakfast with all those awkward engineers without social skills. They only invite me because they know I can carry on a conversation that doesn’t have to use the term logarithm. Since it was early morning, let’s whip together breakfast fare today shall we.

Mexican Egg Dish
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
12 eggs, lightly beaten
4 cups (16 ounces) shredded Monterey Jack cheese, divided
2 cups (16 ounces) 4% cottage cheese
2 plum tomatoes, seeded and diced
1 can (4 ounces) chopped green chilies, drained
4 green onions, sliced
1/2 teaspoon hot pepper sauce
1 teaspoon dried oregano
2 tablespoons minced fresh cilantro
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
Salsa, optional

In a large bowl, combine the flour and baking powder. Add the eggs, 3-1/2 cups Monterey Jack Cheese, cottage cheese, tomatoes, chilies, onions, hot pepper sauce, oregano, cilantro, salt and pepper. Pour into greased 13-in. x 9-in baking dish. Sprinkle with the remaining Monterey Jack cheese. Bake, uncovered at 400 degrees for 15 minutes. Reduce heat to 350 degrees, bake 30 minutes longer or until a knife inserted near the center comes out clean. Let stand for 5 minutes before cutting. Serve with salsa if desired.

There was one small upside today in that the firm that continues to interview me endlessly asked me if I were free this afternoon to perform a little contract job. Sure, just let me drop everything. I got nothing but time on my hands. Went fine, wait until I send them an invoice for $43, 972.

On to my other exciting news……last week Team Tuna reached 400 followers!!!! A milestone to say the least and I love each and every one of you. So I called Stephen, you remember Stephen of Flipflop Wines. He sent me free booze as carefully documented in our all time favorite blog post, The Vino Slut. Here’s how my voice mail message went.

Mrs. Tuna:
So um Stephen um you remembers me um the Vino Slut. Well um gosh I want to run a little reward program for my um peeps you know because now I um got so many.  (Brain says, Abort! Abort!)  Sorry, not communicating very well, you know what they say about bloggers, we are so articulate writing but have no um speaking skills. (Brain says stop babbling) Anyhoo um sorry I um missed you. I’m on my way to an interview, well not really an interview, just a company that wants to pick my head of free info (Brain says, stop it, stop it, stop it, you’re oversharing) So um call me when you have a few minutes and we can um talk about more. (Brain says, say goodbye) Kay now, toodles.

Ughhh, what an idiot I sounded like, not the suave professional I really am. Fortunately, he excused my brain fart. He has offered to send one of my uber special (did you just throw up in your mouth when I used the word uber?) groupies their own sample of wine for their review. So your mission Team Tuna is to write in 10 words why you should be picked for a review of Flipflop Wines Winners to be announced based on the most creative answer. Here’s mine

Team Tuna Gift, Candy is Dandy, but Liquor is Quicker