Thursday, November 17, 2011

Sheldon, A Year in Review

As most of you know, I’m the parent of a grown ass woman. My beloved Sheldon turned 22 last weekend. To find out how she got her nickname go here.   Sheldon is also going to ASU, but runs away from me on campus in order not to be embarrassed by her mommy recreating blog posts that she has been featured in. Complete with hand gestures and condor like arm flapping and snarky comments.  I continue in her eyes to give her advice to only hear myself talk.  There may be some truth, okay maybe a lot of truth, in that but mostly because I’m stuck at the end of the cul-de-sac with lack of work.  So let’s recap what our nerdy daughter has done since Blackjack, Sheldon’s 21 shall we?



Shortly after her last birthday she gave up Facebook. How was supposed to spy on her activities and monitor, I mean celebrate all her little accomplishments via tagged photos. Thankfully she has rejoined the ranks of millions a few weeks ago so I don’t have to resort to befriending her friends in order to capture an awkward glimpse of her on party boats doing body shots.

Sheldon has a bucket list that she has been working hard at completing.  My bucket list includes things like moving up from $3.99 Trader Joe’s Chardonnay and getting the dog hair out of the back seat of my truck.  Her goals included running in a marathon, which incidentally caused her toe nails to fall off (Ewwww right?) and skydiving.  What the hell, why would you jump out of a plane? Don’t you know you could be go splat like a pancake? This week is a bit of cheater, like every other week.  Surprise!

Taco Salad
1 pound ground beef
1 envelope taco seasoning mix (this is why it’s a cheater, when I followed the original recipe it tasted exactly the same, why torture myself?)
Salad fixings (lettuce, tomato, cucumber, avocado, blah, blah, blah)

Spicy Mexican Dressing
½ cup vegetable oil
¼ cup sugar
¼ cup cider vinegar
1 teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon dry mustard
½ teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon chili powder
½ teaspoon ground cumin
¼ teaspoon dried oregano
¼ cup chili sauce
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

In medium bowl, stir oil, sugar and vinegar until sugar is dissolved. Whisk in remaining ingredients.  Cover and refrigerate until ready to use. Prepare ground beef and taco seasoning according to directions.  Slap salad fixings in any darn way you want, you’re all grownups, I shouldn’t have coach you through this part. 

Our little Buttercup participated in the local beauty pageant run by “the Donald”. She looked amazing with her blond good looks and long legs but the giant crown tattoo that reminds me of the Burger King slogan on her hip knocked her right off her pedestal. Maybe he’ll ask her to participate in Celebrity Apprentice where she can show him her mad math skills. 



And she has become addicted to the inked look.  I remember vividly, the first one I found out about her habit. Sitting at my friend the Bad Bunny’s house, drinking wine and feeling all cool and sophisticated with Sheldon as my designated driver. Bunny and I were lamenting one friends struggle with having her 80’s rose tat removed and it looked like a gray blob half way through the process. “What would you say momster if I told you I have a tattoo” she queried. You? I snorted. You had to be tranquilized to get your ears pierced. You’d end up with a love dot chica because you can’t take pain.  With that, she stood up, unzipped her pants and flashed a crown, still covered in saran wrap, a tattoo THE SIZE OF PERU.  Her latest one running the length of her ribcage is a bible verse, WITH ONLY ONE TYPO.  Apparently easily fixed with a poison apple or something.  I think she’s got another one but I’m too scared to ask. At least she and Jessie James aren’t going steady. Happy birthday baby girl!!! Daddy and I love you mostest!!!

PS-The big winner for our free wine review contest is Angie at http://www.angie-uncovered.com/. Bebe and Miss Anonymous decided “Semi-pro sampler looking to go pro. Help a sister out?” was the best last night while we were getting drunk on the back patio. Congrats.  

PSS-Don’t forget to follow Mrs. Tuna’s sorry ass on Facebook. 

32 comments:

LOLA said...

My Dear Mrs. Tuna, Sheldon v. Favorite Young Man in an inked contest. Favorite Young Man wins easily. Aren't you glad?

Love,
Lola

Mark said...

Happy Birthday to your "baby" girl. She's got a billion years in front of her.
But tattoos on girls? Don't tell me this is something that I need to look forward to.
m.

Anonymous said...

Ohhh, I LIKE THE Ms. Anonymous! Were there only 2 bottles involved last night? My head felt a bit like three or more. Tell your neighbors I am sorry. As long as Sheldon, your beautiful and brilliant daughter, does not end up dating Jesse or a tattoo artist I think you are okay.

Word Nerd said...

Your daughter is beautiful, and I kind of like tattoos. Of course, my wordy-nerdy self prefers that they're spelled correctly and that the punctuation is proper. I think I just sucked the cool right out of being inked.

The Zadge said...

I got my first tattoo this year, at age 47. I LOVE IT! It's a beautiful tribute to my dog Jackson who passed away at 13 this year. And it is discretely placed so you can't even see it in my bikini. However, it WILL be my last tattoo too!

Gene Pool Diva said...

Priceless!

Kara said...

I have my own Sheldon - another beautiful blond who's soon to be 22 and comes complete with a huge and colourful water lily tattoo down one hip and thigh. Although she's yet to jump from a plane, she does like to take them to far corners of the world (ie Denmark). Oh, to be young again!

Mary said...

I don't understand the whole tat thing. What are they going to look like when she's a grandmother? :D
Happy birthday to her!

Jo said...

As Mary said above, they don't understand those cool tats will not be so cool when the wrinkles set in and gravity takes over! The boobie tat becomes the belly tat! crackin' myself up, here.
Great post and Happy Birthday to your beautiful (if inked) daughter.

blueviolet said...

She seriously got knocked out for a tat? That's just crazy; she's beautiful. I love that she has such a go-get-em spirit about her with that fun bucket list!

Kimberly said...

She is gorgeous! And I'm a fan of tattoos myself.

Red Nomad OZ said...

AAARRRGGGHHH! Jumping out of planes? Voluntarily getting tattoos?? Just what kind of person IS this monster??!!

Have a great weekend!

EmptyNester said...

All four of the lovelies have tattoos. The scales of justice; the ZTA crown; a magnolia blossom; and the deathly hallows from harry potter. Good lord.

But jumping out of planes? I just hope they don't tell me if they do! LOL

Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter!

Mad Mind said...

Isn't it amazing how our bucket lists change as we age?

Mojo Writin' said...

That made me giggle. Sounds like Sheldon is all the things I wanted to be when I was that age!

Sandra said...

She's gorgeous. And I'm starting to become a lover of the "inked" look myself. Look at you writing a tribute to your daughter, shaming other mothers (not me) for writing posts in which we (not me) make fun of our kids.

Ami said...

I still say we need to introduce our kids. Matt turned 24 this year, he's nice looking, he's smart (3rd year engineering student) and he likes women. What could be simpler?

Anonymous said...

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Beki :)

bettyl said...

Happy birthday, Sheldon! She's such a beauty.

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

Mrs. Tuna, please take consolation that Sheldon has not tattooed the lyrics to Sweet Child of Mine around her collarbone so it's looks like a necklace. Because no one thinks how that is going to look when they walk down the aisle, right?

Srsly, she seems like quite the lovely and smart girl, a chip off the Mrs. Tuna!

Boobies said...

Your daughter is a doll. Pat yourself on the back...you've done an amazing job raising her. (Fingers crossed I can do the same!)

Laoch of Chicago said...

I never could do skydiving because who could you trust to pack the parachute?

wifetoalineman02 said...

She is beautiful :-) an old GFC(wifetoalineman02) follower and new liker of your FB page(JessicaAvancenaCassidy) from Friendly Friday Blog Hop, hope that you can return the favor too.

http://www.mommies2ks.com/2011/11/friendly-friday-blog-hop-2.html

Kristy said...

Love this post for your daughter. You both rock! My mom knows my FB password, and I know that she lurks around looking at everything I do on FB. I know I could change my password, but I don't mind. Whatever! :)

rumpydog said...

Happy birthday to your daughter! May she outlive the beauty of each of her tattoos!

wagthedad said...

I think your daughter is awesome and also I have a tattoo. Waited until I was 36 to get it. No typos, but then again, no writing, either. Much safer that way.

Hilary said...

happy birthday Sheldon! She is BEAUTIFUL!

Romina Garcia said...

Happy Birthday to your gorgeous daughter. I am a fan of tattoo's myself...what does trumpy know anyway ;-)

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Happy Thanksgiving!

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

She's a lovely girl. You aren't alone, my 24 year old has the freakin tree of live acrossed her back as well as 3 more. As soon as the 2cd one turned 18 she ran out and got an orca in the exact same place on the hip. Her dad still doesn't know and I'm pretending I don't.

Angie said...

She is a beautiful girl! You and Mr. T do great work! My daughter took a break from Facebook a couple of years ago (so I thought). Then one day when she stopped caring if I stalked her she sent me a friend request. Apparently she changed her name to Ponysparkles so I could not find her. BRAT!

Anywayyyyy I was able to find Flip Flop wine here! SD is a PITA to ship to apparently if you're not a distributor. ~sigh~ Thank you for the win anyway!

Happy Thanksgiving!

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