Friday, August 17, 2012

Going for Gold

As  Mrs.  Tuna creeps from the dark recesses of her Bat Cave, blinking her eyes against the harsh sunshine she wonders where the last few weeks have gone.  Her back and thighs have the permanent marking of the sofa embedded and blending with newly formed cellulite from lack of exercise.  Where have you been demand her family, friends and followers?  She has spent the last 17 days with the remote control firmly grasped in her fingers watching……..the Olympics.   Warmly hypnotized by the Olympic rings,  wrapped with an American flag,  she has watched it all from Sir Paul McCartney's slightly off key opening to the reuniting of the somewhat weathered and used up Spice Girls.  I’m pretty sure those ladies can no longer be considered “girls”.

It is always fascinating to see what is actually considered a sport. Trampoline? BMX Racing? Really? But as usual, I am not intrigued by the usual things like the world record breaking relay races.  Instead I will be giving my own personal highlights of the big games.  

Is it just me or did the Women’s gymnastic team act like frin-enemies? Little fake hugs, oozing jealousy mean girl faces, like they were smelling poopy diapers.  Sweet Gabby was the big winner and the other girls couldn’t stand it.   Bitches.

 Or that the underwater cameras show unflattering “adjustments” of the athletes following the platform diving.  Every single one of them groped themselves in a very graphic manner, just airing out the boys so to speak as they broke the surface of the water.

How about Ryan Lochte’s mom selling him out as a Man Whore. Too busy for girls except for a love them and leave them one night stand. We’ve all had similar Mommy missteps where our parental unit has sold us out in front of peeps we’re trying to impress.   Like the time my mom told everyone at Christmas dinner that my tube top slipped off since I didn’t have boobs, like my Sistah, to hold it up.

Here is a little ditty that you can whip together to not leave your seat on the couch.

Texas Corn Bread Casserole
½ pound ground sausage
½ pound ground beef
1 medium onion chopped
½ medium green pepper chopped
1 can tomato soup
1 tablespoon brown sugar
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 package cornbread mix
1/8 teaspoon paprika

In 8” x 8” baking dish combine sausage, ground beef, onion and green pepper. Cover and microwave for 3 to 5 minutes or until meat is no longer pink. Drain, mix remaining ingredients except cornbread mix and paprika. Microwave on high 5 minutes. Prepare cornbread mix according to package directions. Spread over hot meat mixture. Sprinkle paprika evenly on top. Microwave for 6 to 7 minutes or until cornbread is set. Let stand 2 to 3 minutes.

I wish the future British son in law had been available to explain all those English oddities to me. Like what’s up with the zigzag striping on the pavement (apparently, never, ever parking there).  Hair fascinators, why do they all look like a bird threw up on their head?  And the easy one, why do they all drive on the wrong side of the road? Ah well, I guess that make me Snarky Spice.   Have a good week Team Tuna. 


MikeG said...

This should explain why we drive on the other side :) Everybody at one point drove on the left until the French Revolution and the reign of Napoleon. At this point any colony that was settled by the French or any other mainland EU colony settled on US soil all chose to drive on the right. The US then decided to cut all ties as a former Brit Colony and have every state drive one the right :)

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

I totally picked up on that fake camaraderie between gymnasts. They want each other to do well enough to help the team's efforts but any better than that.

Live*Laugh*Love said...

Hello newest follower on your blog site would love for you to follow me back. Thanks :) Feel free to Like or Follow me on my facebook fan page & my Twitter!!!








Pam Lofton said...

Hahahahaha! I just love your take on things! I missed all those adjustments. I don't usually watch the Olympics but, since we had so much family in during the first week, I kept them on and discovered that I am a huge fan of mens rowing. Very nice. And the rowing is exciting too. LOL

Vapid Vixen said...

OH my god. I kinda wanna give Live Laugh Love one of those fake gymnast hugs and a totally disingenuous compliment on her... bad form?

As always...go Team Tuna!

Kimberly said...

I watched the first week of the Olympics religiously. Then I tore my eyes away from the TV, realized my house was in shambles and gave up watching the rest.

MOV said...

I was also loving the Olympics, especially the Women's Beach Volleyball. I would imagine I was one of those strong girls, and then I would have another bite of my brownie. Straight from the pan.

I gotta say though, if they had an Olympics for Writing, you-- yes, YOU, Tuna-- would win the Gold. But since they don't have that (Hurry up, write faster! Conjugate that verb!! Start a new paragraph and introduce a new character!), you will have to settle for the MOV Award, which is really just a very nice bottle of wine. Empty because I already sampled it for you. Because I am a giver that way.

You still have time to train for watching the Winter Olympics, it is only 2 years away!!!


Hilary said...

missed you!!!

Anonymous said...

Did you notice how they seemed to run out of normal sports towards the end?? Did like the closing ceremonies better than the opening. Felt a little disjointed with nothing to do after they were over!

Red Nomad OZ said...

HAhaha, apparently kite surfing has just been approved for the Brazil Olympics!! I'm always amused by the synchronised swimming - not just because I'm completely uncoordinated, but because I don't 'get' it!!!

And Live/Laugh/Love has given you a HUGE task - 7 things to join up/follow AND grab the badge!! Not sure there are enough hours in the day, sistah!

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

I prefer the winter Olympics. I'm a huge Curling Fan. HUGE! ; )

Laurel's Quill said...

Great read, as usual.

Laoch of Chicago said...

I found the Olympics to be oddly depressing. If you win it means that you are now a marketing machine and if you lose you are useless and a failure that is to be shunned.

Anonymous said...

Live and Laugh and Love...big signs of " desperation" especially in Depland.
And Dassault is first in line with info.
After him came Rosen- Berriro.
And Gross followed with " twitter" Heintz.
Guns - missiles- arms- munitions- organs- drugs.....
Live and Laugh and Love.
NRA style.

Anonymous said...

I love that you notice the smallest but probably the most amusing things! Gymnastics has always been such a competitive sport. I think. A lot of girls competing for one medal. That should be really tough. Hahaha!

I hope you can pass by my blog as well!


Marianne said...

This all just supports my decision to never do gymnastics. Or swimming. Or excercise. Thank you for the reminder! (:

Clairejustine said...

I watch the opening,the ending and the running inbetween,but my kids watched most if it :) thanks for linking up with us at welcome to the weekend hop ...

myevil3yearold said...

We watch the BBC channel just because they are so weird. My son, however, has fallen in love with all things British he is even talking in that haught taught way. Also, I am sad the Olympics are over. I now have no excuse as to why I can't cook dinner.

Mamma has spoken said...

I didn't watch much of the Olympics except for what hubby watched. Mainly, if it was a woman, he watched it. Agree that there were some weird events out there and many I didn't understand. But the thing I noticed most: women athletics don't have boobs.

Bibi @ Bibi's Culinary Journey said...

I am sure if I had your commentary during the games I would watch little bit more of never disappoint, Mrs. Tuna :)

The Empress said...

The olympics are so wonderful to watch, aren't they?

Such a peek at cultures and every time we see them we're a different family, person, time in our life.

Next olympics, both my boys will be at college.

I can't even understand that.

Anonymous said...

My backside took on the shape of the recliner so I moved it from the corner and replaced it with an exercise ball. (which lasted for an hour or two)
Yeah, thanks, just started the diet, again, and now I have another great recipe to try. You are evil!

Memoirs of Me & Mine said...

I love your take. That's great, the real life view!
That recipe sounds yummy.

Annmarie Pipa said...

my kids watched so much Olympics, the TV was on constantly. I watched the fasted man in the world.

Bev said...

hi, i'm following the "never growing old" blog hop. i would love for you to visit my blog and follow if you like it.

new follower bev

Annie (Lady M) x said...

Hello Mrs T, our paths haven't crossed for a while, but I plan to rectify that .... I miss your blog. You made me laugh my head off with your desccription of the divers adjusting their trunks after a dive. I can honestly say I had never noticed until you mentioned it!!

Anonymous said...

Welcome back from your Olympics stupor (I was right there with you). And Mrs. T, just one question for you - do you have a couch in your kitchen??? How do you pull it off. (But from the sound of this recipe, I AM willing to leave the couch to make it)

Litwiler said...

Very beautiful! Great Olympics.