Return of the Naughty Schoolgirl

And we’re off!!!! Back on the gerbil wheel now that ASU is back in session. But I should be wary given the short life span of rodents. When Sheldon was a kid, her hamster Phoebe had looked a little peaked. When I called the vet they said they didn’t treat exotic animals. Since when was a $5 hamster considered an endangered species?  As the oldest chick in class, does that make me endangered or just dangerous? I floss freshmen out of my teeth.

As usual, I carefully scrutinize my horoscope on my very first day of class each semester.  As a 4 ½ star day, how could I go wrong?  “Ordinary aspects of your life seem to shout out for extra attention.” (Well Duh, who do you think you’re talking to?) “Someday you’ll be really glad to look at the pictures you took today.”  (Uh oh, did they follow me to the Wine Bar/Bat Cave after class?) I can see the end of the road in December when I hop, skip and jump to the Bachelor of Science.  Of course now I’m toying with solidering on for my Masters because I am a glutton for punishment like that. What are another two years and twenty thousand dollars?

In my History of Flip Flops class, the teacher called me a rock star for knowing all the answers. I don’t care if the 12 year olds hate me; I want to be the top of the heap.    I also can’t tell you how ECSTATIC I was that stupid couple from last semester isn’t in any of my classes. As you recall, they were the ones who were more focused on boinking like bunnies then actually doing any work.  If I were “disrespecting” you I would have called you bitch. Hope the little fuckers failed out.   Since we’re back to only having 14 seconds to cook, this week will be fast and furious.

Penne with Ricotta and Bacon

1 pound penne pasta

8 slices of bacon

½ onion minced

15 ounces whole milk ricotta cheese at room temperature

10 fresh basil leaves chopped

In large pot of boiling water, cook penne until al dente. Reserve one ladle of cooking water, then drain the pasta and transfer to serving bowl. In medium skillet, cook bacon until crisp. Remove bacon and add onion. Cook until golden about 10 minutes. Stir the onions and ricotta into pasta along with the reserved pasta cooking water. Crumble the bacon and sprinkle it over the pasta with basil.

Sheldon’s wedding plans to the Brit are moving along. I found a secondary dress. She rejected the first one, thinking the seams looked like it was inside out. Like you never woke up and put your shirt on backward before running to Starbucks.  The wedding colors are navy and silver, originally they were dreaming of orange and blue. All I could think about was the receiving line would have Denver Bronco cheerleaders with pompoms cheering Gooooooooo Marriage!   Hopefully, since she has once again deactivated her Facebook she won’t read this. Sheldon Honey.....tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic. Wishing you a fab week Team Tuna!!!!