Keg stands and Mammograms

Hello, hello, hello!!!! I have reached the halfway point in the semester, Spring Break and I’m like a Labrador puppy unrestrained from my crate. I’m so excited to be free I might even piddle on the floor. I feel like I’ve been neglecting all my followers, haphazard commenting on your posts, writing weak things like “good job, keep it up”, I know feeble. My last post regarding The Boy’s Birthday was dashed off only to meet the appointed deadline, just cribbing info from his Facebook page. But now Team Tuna, I will be dedicating this week to catching up with all of you, being witty and filled with snappy comebacks.

Attending school has certainly reaffirmed that being surrounded by girls in short skirts and Ugg boots with their naughty parts hanging out magnifies my muffin top. My sensible flat shoes clicking loudly in comparison to the soft soled Van sneakers of boys with pierced lips causing them move aside and call me Madam. Sh*t, when did I go from Miss to Madam, it happened in a blink of the eye. More importantly, remember when we were all a little creeped out by pierced eyebrows? I actually saw someone with pierced nipples, I couldn’t look away, and it was mesmerizing. Ouch, that’ll leave a mark.

Two of my classes are in king size lecture halls, I always aim for the aisle seat and in my anal retentive manner get there nice and early to ensure early boarding passes. But it also places me near the electrical outlets, one chick tried stringing her power cord across my chest in order to check her Facebook status, ah no, step away or I will b*tch slap you. I’ve been up since 4:30 AM and I’m mighty cranky.

I fortunately haven’t had any sobbing fests in the urban planning movie class, but did have one kid nod off and try and rest his head on my shoulder. I now spread my crap all over the chair next to me marking my territory, daring anyone to make me move it. The added bonus is it has also kept those coughing, hacking, phlegm and germy little slugs away. You’re all running for the hand sanitizer now aren’t you. This week lets aim for something a little less fast to make up for all the drive thru food.

Rock Cornish Game Hens
2 small game hens
1/3 pound ground sausage or pork
¼ cup chopped onion
1 clove garlic minced
2 cups Pepperidge Farm herb stuffing
¼ cup milk
Chicken Broth to moisten
½ rib celery chopped
½ teaspoon thyme
½ teaspoon rosemary
½ teaspoon basil

In skillet brown pork with garlic, onion and celery until meat is no longer pink. Drain off excess liquid. Add remaining ingredients and mix well. Stuff hens and place on meat rack in shallow baking dish. Baste hens with butter and cover with foil. Cook in preheated oven at 350 degrees for 1 ¼ hours. Remove foil for last 15 minutes.

So while my little school chums are off to Cancun doing keg stands, I have scheduled myself for all those pesky appointments I have no time for. Hair cut, skin cancer check, pap smear and mammogram. I know, I can see your jealously, all sad and transparent. If I could have worked in a tummy tuck, I would have invited all of you over for body shots. Ah well, maybe next year.