Friday, March 4, 2011

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Well that’s what they say little girls are made of. But boys, they are made of Axe cologne and sweaty hormones. My Sistah’s son, The Boy, is going to be 17 this weekend. Recently he quizzed me to find out if he’d been featured in any recent blogs posts, no worry Batman, it can be my present this year to ridicule you. Sheldon traveled in different circles playing her giant cello and doing the pageant wave. While I only have a daughter I also have four brothers and work with all men so I speak guy. The Big Tuna is surrounded by females, including the wonder dogs, swimming alone in the deep end of the estrogen pool.

Boys are just wired different, Sheldon and The Girl fixate about homework assignments, calculating how many extra credit points they need to keep up their obsessive compulsive grades. The Boy, like many male teens have lots of incompletes on their midterm reports, turning in missing assignments and acing their tests to attend the Disneyland field trip in the nick of time. In preparation of this post, I spent a little time scrutinizing his Facebook page for fodder.

The Boy Facebook Status:

SO apparently if I get staight A's in all my classes final semester I will officially own the .22 caliber bolt-action CZ rifle that I unofficially own!! I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED!! Now I actually have some incentive to get my work done instead of slacking! It's not final yet and my mother and father need to talk about it but I'm pretty sure that my dad realizes that I love that rifle WAY more than he does.

Really a gun, hold me I’m scared. Hopefully it won't turn into a Columbine incident. But also a more sensitive side.

The Boy Facebook Status:

At the midpoint in life I found myself in a dark forest for the clear path had been lost…..Dante’s Divine Comedy

How insightful, so mature, so alien from the rough and tumble man child he appears to the 10th grade population. I asked my Sistah for his favorite meal. He and the Girl were both adopted from Korea as babies, here is the recipe for Bulgogi, a Korean barbeque dish.

Bulgogi
2 lbs boneless beef (sirloin etc.) or chicken, sliced thinly; cut bite-size
4 cloves minced garlic
1 Tbs. toasted sesame seeds
1/3 cup soy sauce (I use low sodium)
2 Tbs. sherry
1/4 tsp. pepper
3 green onions finely chopped
2 Tbs. sesame oil
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 tsp. fresh ginger, minced (or 1/8 tsp. ginger powder)

Mix all ingredients except the meat to make marinade. Marinate the meat from several hours to overnight. Grill quickly or under the broiler. Serve over rice with Kim-Chee.

Last year we met up with some of his friends at my Sistah’s for his sweet sixteen. Clammy boys were focused on Sheldon’s awesome blondness and big boobs. I thought one of them was going to faint when she showed them her tattoo. I will leave you with another boy-ism,

The Boy Facebook Status:
Multiplication is like women. If they’re under 13, you just do them in your head.

Oh dear. Lock up your women, he’ll be driving before you know it.

39 comments:

Heather said...

Yuck! Boys are yuck.

Even though he looks very cute. I hope he has a great birthday.

Sausage Fingers said...

Although not the official spokesman for the testicle crowd, I can say for all of us that yes we are disgusting and crude. Luckily you gals still love us anyway or is it that the Vlassic pickle company tightens the lids on their yummy dill spears so you gals need us to open them????
Who knows, good luck to the lad.
Cheers, Sausage...

EmptyNester said...

Hubs and I have 4 daughters but I grew up with 3 brothers. And you're right. They're wired WAY different...if they're wired at all. LOL

Camille said...

oh the joys of young teenage boys...I have one now so I know. They are strange little creatures but I guess I can say I am blessed with one a bit more mature than the rest hisage....still it's weird :)

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The Zadge said...

Despite his status updates, he looks like a total sweetie!

twelvedaysold said...

One time I went to a small group at a new church I was attending. It was all girls, and the woman leading it up said that her boyfriend was hosting a boy's group. In his group they all went around and listed their favorite gun. So she wanted us to go around and say our favorite makeup.

You could not believe how irritated I was we couldn't list our favorite type of gun.

CkretsGalore said...

Hahaahaha and I want to have a boy. What am I thinking.

Great Recipie! I do love me some Korean BBQ!

Lisa ~Suburban Retreat~ said...

Men are from Mars ... and let's just leave it at that! Regardless of his origin, I wish him a Happy Birthday!

Mamma has spoken said...

I grew up with five brothers and I have four sons. What he has said is nothing, just wait till he is in college!

pinkim said...

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Little Miss Sunshine State said...

My daughter went through a stage in high school and most of college where she often said "boys are stupid". Now that she's almost 23 and her male friends are older, it's "guys are fun".

I have one of each. They are soooo different.

Stephanie said...

LOL - boys are just boys. Even dogs. My 3-year male dog must trot through each and every mud puddle he spots, while the female delicately prances around.

CanadianMama said...

Ha! This boy will do well in life for sure! What is Kim Chee? I'm totally making that recipe for sure - looks wicked!!!!!

Red Nomad OZ said...

Haha! SO what happens if the women are over 45?? Oh, I guess they don't even register on the radar, right??!!

Jean | Delightful Repast said...

I love cabbage so have been intending to try kim-chee. This Korean dish sounds so good!

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

My 15 year old daughter would think he was the cutest thing she's ever seen...so I'm not gonna show her ; )

Melissa Boyles said...

Boys are wired differently - they go completely offline at about 18 1/2. I'm still waiting to get my son back! LOL

Hilary said...

OMG! I love the math analogy!

tattytiara said...

My best friend's eldest boy is a minute and a half away from being a teen, and his younger brother's a minute and a half right behind him. And then a couple minutes later her third son.

Hee hee hee - oh it's gonna be chaos!

Ms Bibi said...

I have two boys and two nephews and even my dog is male. My oldest will be turning 14 this month so I do know a thing or two about living in the world of Axe cologne and sweaty hormones....it ain't pretty and I feel like a hostage in his strange world trying to get out,lol.

lovinangels said...

um, yeah, I was laughing my butt off until I hit the last comment. I have three girls under 13.

*growls to self about nature of penises*

Your recipe sounds delicious.

Bee said...

Well having an almost 17 year old 11th grade boy myself - I can totally relate! the status swings on FB to really "dope" to really sucky in 12 hours! I can never figuire it out! I thought only girls had mood swings until my boy grew up - now I know that not to be true - in fact mood swings are all part of it I am told!

Ms.Wasteland said...

I yi yi...my boys will be teens before I know it. Hold me.

PS Copying this recipe. Sounds yummy.

The Chick said...

You could have been describing my nephew! He just got an iPhone and it's best function is guy magazine apps (Maxim, FHM, Playboy, etc). Crazy hormonal men LOL! I am going to try this recipe SOON, it sounds soooooo good!

MommaKiss said...

sweet jesus, i'm gonna have teenagers. in like 7ish years. grant me serenity.

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

I love seeing the Facebook status of my nieces and nephews. Most of the time. I wonder what they are thinking when they friend their aunt? I keep out of their monkey business mostly, but talk about being a fly on the wall!

I Wonder Wye said...

My nephew Asher is the same age...love his dry quirky humor. I don't know if he'd 'friend' me or not...?! Guess I'll give it a try...

Xmas Dolly said...

Thanks for stopping by today 3.08, and I must say great recipe here. I have a new meme on Thursdays if you would like some recipes. It's called Recipe Swap Meet Thursday! We'd love to have you stop by & play along. Hope you'll try it! Thanks again & have a great day! HUGS!

Sandra said...

I want this boy on my Facebook just so I can remain entertained by his status updates! I definitely smell genius beneath the Axe and the sweat!

FreeFlying said...

Dude. I wish I had gotten bribed for good grades in high school. I got good old-fashioned fear instead.

Krissy said...

Okay, the last status was just disturbing. I'm going to hide Bailey now! Surely he's not into dogs though, right? His Facebook definitely appears entertaining, although being related to him might be a different story. I know it is when I look at what my nieces and nephews post sometimes.

TalkativeTaurus.com

blueviolet said...

Oh no, that last FB status. Guys are such guys! And their smell is unlike anything else...awful.

That recipe is really interesting!

Crystal Escobar said...

Oh my gosh, that last one, I don't know about that :)
Very funny post though and that recipe looks very interesting. Thank you for sharing.

Ca88andra said...

Boys are different! But I'm glad I have my three. Your post made me smile.

Samantha Parker said...

oh boy.

had i but known this when i was younger.

:)

Sarah @ Life as a Movie said...

Oh gats! I'm going to lock my 12 year old girl up after hearing that last FB status. I've raised my 13 year old son as a single mother his whole life so I think he's pretty in touch with the female side - THANKFULLY!

Jenn at Sweet T Makes Three said...

Bulgogi is all sorts of awesome. My aunt is Korean and while she taught my mother to make fried rice and kimchee, she never divulged the secret to bulgogi so thanks!

Marla said...

As I always told my girls, boys are weird. Throw rocks at them.