All Hail Starbucks

Stupid Midterm is over but spent the ENTIRE weekend studying for the next senseless test that had to be complete today. I’m finding my brain only has so much capacity, earlier chapters leak out to make room for new sh*t. We were allowed to take a tiny index card with info to the in person test center along with a photo ID for the midterm. Certainly no one was looking to card me. I was pretty skived out by the sweaty scholars and felt the need for a full body condom to ward off their cooties. Grrrrr…..3 more online tests and the final to go, make it stop.

But I have a secret weapon to keep me grinding away at the graphing calculator, Mr. Coffee. When I quit smoking about 20 years ago, I replaced it with eleventy million cups a day to keep that stimulate high necessary to keep this high maintenance b*tch in top performance mode. I’ve literally made three admin peeps quit over the tongue lashings they received for not keeping the office stocked with fragrant beans. But sadly, 2 years ago, I had to cut waaayyyyyy back from a pot a day to one lonely cup due to my blood pressure. But now in my hour of need I’m back at it with a vengeance. In addition to chugging away at the office, I’ve been taking a little stroll over to afternoon iced java at my neighborhood Starbucks, every…..day.

I’m spending so much time there that they start my ice vanilla coffee with 2% while I’m standing in line. I am not tricked by tall, grande and venti. Bring on the extra large…….trenta, pure 32 ounces of cold pleasure. And let me mainline a little lemon bars while I’m at it. I mean I’m already way over my calorie intake, let’s just shoot the wad. And while we’re all overspending our fat content, this week is my Mom’s Coffee Cake to round it out.

Sour Cream Coffee Cake
¼ pound butter
2 eggs
1 cup sugar
2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
½ point sour cream
1 teaspoon vanilla

Topping
¼ cup sugar
½ cup nuts (like walnuts)
1 teaspoon cinnamon

Cream butter and sugar. Add eggs, beat well. Add alternating the dry ingredients and sour cream. Mix well. Add vanilla. Sprinkle ½ topping in well greased 10” tube pan. Pour in half batter, sprinkle remaining topping, then remaining batter .Bake at 375 degrees for 35 to 40 minutes.

I’m finding the need to drink iced coffee even on my days off from the slave market and must venture into new Starbuck’s turf for my little fix. Saturday, I was the lone junkie/customer when little Travis queried my heroin/drink request. “And your name?” he probed. Ummmm….my name, isn’t this like an AA meeting? I mean I’m the only one at the counter. “Yes, your name” he insisted. Maintaining my incognito flair….Umm….Travis, my name is Travis. “Really” he squealed, “just like mine”. Whatever, just give me my crack and a lemon bar to go and nobody gets hurt.