Friday, July 22, 2011

Dog Days of Summer

SweetbabyJesusthestatisticsclassfromhellisfinallyover. Listen, I consider myself to be a fairly decent smarty pants but man, taking this as an online class was a serious oversight on my part. Essentially it ends up being self taught because the teacher is boozing it up on her sabbatical sending only sporadic drunk emails. Sheldon, my personal math tutor, was supposed to help but opted to move in with her little wing men and avoid house rules like that pesky curfew. But……the agony is over, I have a few short weeks before I head back to ASU where I’ll be driving myself over the cliff taking 5 classes while working full time at Giant Engineering firm.


So many topics were swirling in my head while trying to determine if I should divide by the square root of “n” or the standard deviation, it was hard to decide on a subject. It seems like all everyone on Facebook and CNN can talk about is the weather. It’s hot, it’s humid, my thighs are stuck together, well man up the rest of the nation. It’s been over 100 degrees since May in Phoenix, I don’t care how much they say it’s a dry heat. Sure, we’re all high and mighty in February when you’re covered in snow and ice but it’s our reward for living in Satan’s cellar from June to October. This paired with my newfound hot flashes make Mrs. Tuna a tiny bit hostile.

Other strategies I employ are getting up at 3:45 AM (no that is not a typo) to ride two horses, take a shower to remove my helmet head before running into my office veal fattening pen by 8:30. This translates into going to bed at 8:00. I feel like a toddler, overwrought and overtired. Please, someone, anyone, put me down for a nap already. Of course I add ice to my wine to keep hydrated, I mean water is just silly.

In a former life I was a vegetarian for 7 or 8 years. It had nothing to do with feeling like it wasn’t moral to eat animals, it was all about texture. Any meat a little chewy caused instant gag reflex. That’s why ground beef is okay, because its pre chewed. Being married to Mister Meat and Potatoes causes me to create some veggie dishes to offset the clogging of my arteries.

Roasted Garlic Cauliflower
1 head cauliflower separated
5 cloves chopped chunky
4 tablespoons olive oil
1 teaspoon kosher salt
3 teaspoons toasted pine nuts
3 tablespoons lemon juice
Parmesan Cheese to taste

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. On a rimmed baking sheet toss cauliflower with garlic and 3 tablespoons of olive oil and salt. Spread in single layer stirring occasionally until cauliflower is tender, approximately 20 to 25 minutes. Transfer to large bowl and combine with remaining oil, pine nuts, lemon and parmesan cheese.

We’ve been hit with two gigantic dust storms in last couple of weeks. The first, over 100 miles wide and over a mile tall was so thick it left a half inch of fine powder everywhere and full coverage on the weather channel. The chicken sh*t dogs clung to us like we were covered with bacon fat. Earlier this week we had phase two of operation permanent dust in our teeth. One of my coworkers caught it on tape from our 31st floor, pretty impressive. We’re not in Kansas anymore Toto.

42 comments:

Laoch of Chicago said...

I envy you, statistics courses are great fun!

LOLA said...

Oh My Poor Dear Mrs. Tuna, Hot flashes on top of the heat? That's horrible. Do you get chills after the hot flashes? I did. Do you have night sweats? I did. And I totally understand the hostility. I lost a job over it. I was soooooo emotional that I burst into tears at least twice every day. I hereby command thee to nap this weekend -- all day if necessary, get up for a little hydration, and go back to bed for the night.

Love,
Lola

The Zadge said...

Five classes and working full time? Woman, are you high? Although I'm totally with you on the texture of meat thing - I was a veggie for 19 years and have started eating meat again, but only stuff like sausage, burgers, pepperoni, because of the texture. I took a bite of a steak and felt like I had just bitten into the back of a cow. Which, I guess, I had.

Kristina P. said...

I COMPLETELY appreciate the saying "It's a dry heat", after spending a week in Missouri. I am LOVING my Utah dry heat after feeling like I was constantly in a sauna. Blech. It was terrible.

Sandra said...

OMG did the Laoch of Chicago really say he envied you your stats course??? If I was royalty, I'd be ordering "Off with his head!" So glad you're done that course Sweetie, I couldn't take even reading about it, never mind you having to do it. I seriously feel like a big weight has been lifted off both our shoulders....plus I'm dreading school in Sept. It was torture reading about you being in school. On a more positive note, I'm making the cauliflower dish for supper tomorrow!

EmptyNester said...

If I'm remembering correctly, we hit warm in February this year and HOT by May. No relief in sight. Heat index 115...again. UGH! At least we don't have those nasty dust storms!

Glad the course it over. And that it didn't kick your butt!

dbs said...

Solution: scotch.

I'm So Fancy said...

Congrats on being done! And thank you for that recipe. That is right up my alley...statistics however aren't. x

Kathy at Bliss Habits said...

Now I know the ice in my cocktails is for! Thanks for the hydrating tip! LOL Found you via Mrs. 4444's Sampling. Nice to meet you!

Vanessa Rogers said...

That dust storm is insane!

Jean | Delightful Repast said...

Mrs Tuna, you have my deepest sympathy -- hot flashes on top of a desert summer! Yikes! Now go grab a cool drink and put your feet up.

KPort207 said...

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Thanks :)

Emily said...

After seeing your dust storm, I think I will cherish my almost every day of unhealthy air quality hear in Central New Jersey.

Ugh, statistics. I was forced to take that in college my freshman year. I was in the tutor's room after every class. I got one of my rare C's in the class.

Honestly, if you're not mathematically inclined by sophomore year in high school, WHY do you have to take math in college???

Amy said...

Wow...congratulations!I identify with 'the new found hot flash'...ohmy ~awful is an understatement.

Hope you find the time to kick back and relax...

Mamma has spoken said...

I heard about that dust storm and all I could think about was it would be hell cleaning that up if it got into your house. Yuck!

Jenn said...

In Michigan, we get to experience a humid heat. Where you walk outside and you could cut it with a knife. The humidity actually cakes itself onto the windows during these wicked times and while it's a cool 70-degrees in your house and 100+ heat index outside, the humidity cakes onto the windows, everything fogs up and you can't see outside.

This happened to my eye glasses when I walked outside yesterday. Seriously? I didn't sign up for this!!

Stopping by from today's blog Hop & new follower - hope you stop by! Have a great week! www.blenifer.com

cajunlicious said...

You poor thing! That picture is too cute though!

Ms Bibi said...

You are a superwoman....classes....working....cooking and blogging about it....is there end to your skills and powers?

Love the dog picture. That's how I feel today we just would need way more ice then that,lol

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

"teacher is boozing it up on her sabbatical sending only sporadic drunk emails", ok, I think I know where she actually was. Possibly teaching my daughters Economics class.

And Wow! You have my sympathy. Heat is bad enough but I can't imagine the dust, Awful!

Jojo said...

Ms. Tuna, Thanks for stopping by and leaving a note. Not that dust storms and temperatures over 100 degrees aren't exciting but seeing Charleston is gorgeous. My little granddaughter who just turned 9 just can't stop talking about Rainbow Row. It's very impressive.

P.S. I feel your schedule pain. There are never hours in the day.

ImSoVintage said...

I am so glad you found my blog so I could find yours back. I really needed a good laugh and besides I am so happy to have found someone else who was married and gave birth at eleven. I'm just having a hard time convincing my daughters that they are about to pass me in age. I will be testing out your recipe as soon as I find the stove.

ImSoVintage said...

okay, this is really embarrassing, but it seems I found your blog first. I guess I better add ice cubes to the wine 8-)

The Empress said...

What in the world?

What do you guys do during that?

Can you drive? Do you stay at work?

OH
Em
GEE

The only perfect recipe for that is code xanax.

Red Nomad OZ said...

Weird how vegetarian food just seems so RIGHT when it's hot ... perhaps you could also publish some ingestion hints & tips for hot weather survival - the ice in the wine would make an excellent start!!

Lola said...

Okay, I owe you a serious apology for taking so long to get my ass over here. Love your blog and OMG you really ARE an overachiever. Don't know if we can hang considering what a huge slacker I am. I took statistics in college and had to BEG my teacher for a "C" to continue in my field of Speech Pathology. I SWORE on my life that if he gave me a "C" (I was really really close) I would never even so much as balance my own checkbook so he had no reason to worry. He DID give me a "C" and being good to my word...my checkbook has remained unbalanced for 20 plus years.

twelvedaysold said...

Satan's cellar, I like it. My husband and I are going on vacation in September to Phoenix. Looking back I think we're nuts for planning it when it's still in the hot zone down there.

Glad you finished statistics!

mike said...

Holy wow...I'll take a snow storm over that dust storm any day!

Mommie Dearest Strikes Again said...

I don't even know where to begin...I can't believe your schedule! Bless your heart - I don't know how you do it. 3:45? Yowza. Your description of your online teacher was hilarious...but actually made me think of the online teacher for my son's geometry course (who never seems to be around when he needs her).

I'm envious of your dry heat (but not the dust storms)...the temperatures here have been hovering around 100 degrees with humidity making it feel like 105-110. It's awful. Muggy and awful.

Marnie said...

I really hand it to you for doing an online course! Good for you :0) I LOVE that picture of your dog! Hilarious

Not Blessed Mama said...

mrs tuna, you're nuts woman! i hope you get to breathe for a few minutes before you go back.
roasted cauliflower (with EVOO, salt and pepper) are my kids FAV food- they fight over it.
oh, and i gave you some love on my blog- because i love you.
http://notblessedmama.blogspot.com/2011/07/id-like-to-thank-academy.html

The Frat Pack + Me said...

Satan's cellar.....bwhahahahah!

Snappy Di said...

Found your blog at bestpostsoftheweek and had to come say Hello. We were long time Arizonans who now park our patooties in the Blue Ridge Mountain are of Virginia. I can so relate to watching your clip of the dust storm. Hubby is an engineer and a grad. of ASU. Just wanted to say HELLO!

DI

Mama Spaghetti said...

Congrats on getting through the stats class.

That dust storm looks intense! I can't even imagine what it's like to clean up after something like that.

Stephanie said...

You are an over-achiever! I'm tired just reading your fall schedule. I'm going to take a nap.

Clare and Gary said...

OMG that storm is quite scary....

office veal fattening pen - LOL moment

Lin said...

Holy crap, you're wonder woman! 5 classes & working full time...you deserve an award.

I also get up around that crappy time (4am) to be at work by 6am and yes, it totally sucks. Hope the weather gives you guys a break :)

Love your blog btw!

Better is Possible said...

Stats on line. Wow, impressive! I had a tough enough time in class with classmates, a prof and a TA. Good for you Mrs. Tuna.
Incredible dust storm. Yikes. I's been chilling my wine...we're out of ice. You're right, water is just silly.
Good day to you.

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

That video was otherworldly. Speaking of which, five classes? When we will we see you again - when you come up for air? I have to say, the New England summer has been pretty kind except for that one week of triple HHH weather. 80 and comfy today.

♥Jennette♥ said...

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Smart and Trendy Moms
http://www.smartandtrendymoms.com/

Hilary said...

Hot flashes in AZ - you poor dear! I can't even imagine... There were so many one liners here that made me laugh out loud... Thanks for the chuckles!

Yes! Yolanda said...

I'm your newest follower! I found you on "Boost my Blog Friday" (Last week's since this wk hasn't posted yet). I just started blogging myself but have a great start! Stop by if you get a chance:
http://yesyolanda.blogspot.com/
I love love LOVE food blogs & can't wait to snoop through & see what you've got. Also the picture w/the dog is too funny!

Closer to Lucy said...

OMG! I just finished and on-line stats class! I too thought it was self taught.... I could have written this post myself! Rough stuff....cried my way through it! Much love!

I'm your newest follower! Stop in at Closer to Lucy's when you get a chance!