Friday, July 29, 2011

Towering Inferno

So Team Tuna must be wondering what the hey? She took the final exam and scored an amazing 95% so why hasn’t she posted every stinking day? Because her damn building has blown a major transformer and only has back up generator power since Monday morning. Mrs. Tuna had to hike down 30 flights of stairs clutching her lunch, gym duffle, and oversize purse like a bag lady in high heels to avert potential rescue by handsome fire fighters. She was wearing a very short dress and being hoisted over their shoulders and letting her naughty parts flash to the world didn’t seem like a high enough payout.


Giant Engineering Company does not sadly pay unless you play. Trying not to be too bitter about having to use PTO for down time, isn’t it equivalent to a snow day or something? Floors 20 to 31 are down for the count. Our computer geeks were able to scurry up to the upper tombs and snag our computer towers and set up shop on the eighth floor where most of us have been sitting ass to elbows, crammed into conference rooms and around lunch tables. But being nice to the IT groups has its perks, they liked me so much they set me up in an office by myself since they know I don’t like people in my personal bubble. Gotta buy them thank you Starbucks gift cards to keep the electronic love coming.

The property management company has managed to hook up one lone elevator to serve the entire building with thousands of workers. This means waits for sardine can like rides of anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes where you incessantly push the elevator button, willing for you turn in the cage. I’ve taken to pushing both up and down buttons and getting on for either direction just to get a chance for this fun house ride. Better to park on the upper floors of the parking garage and hike up a few stair flights. The trainer, Hitler’s little girlfriend Eva Braun would be so proud of my forced exercise but its making me too tired to create a new post when I get home from work. This week’s recipe was a new fish recipe that only took about 10 minutes.

Parmesan Fish
1 pound white fish like sole
1 tablespoon lemon juice
¼ cup parmesan cheese
2 tablespoons softened butter
1 tablespoon mayo
1/8 teaspoon salt
Dash Tabasco sauce

Spray broiler pan with Pam cooking spray. Place fillets in single layer, brush with lemon juice. Let stand 10 minutes. In small bowl combine cheese, butter, mayo, salt and Tabasco sauce. Broil fish 3-4 minutes under preheated broiler for 5 minutes. Spread with cheese mixture and broil for an additional 2-3 minutes. Watch closely!

The property management company has some balls that’s for sure. Instead of bringing us bagels and coffee to soothe the savage beasts that we have become, they send out flippant parking emails. “We have updated your garage parking passes to not allow you to exit the garage if you pull a ticket rather than swipe your badge.” Sure, right time to be parking Nazis rather than FIXING THE F*CKING ELEVATORS. As far as I can tell, elves in the Black Forest are hand crafting a new transformer, so heaven knows when I’ll return to the Crystal Penthouse. Wish me luck peeps.

25 comments:

I'm So Fancy said...

I would have gone for the fireman. And the bright side is you can skip the gym this week!!!

LOLA said...

I say let the handsome firefighter rescue you and by God, put those naughty parts on display. What happens on the twentieth floor stays on the twentieth floor. But congrats on being a big enough kiss ass to get your own office. It's exactly what I would do. Always be generous with the IT people. They are the most important worker bees.

Love,
Lola

Red Nomad OZ said...

Wow! Your own office?? Does it come with live-in Fireman just in case rescue is required? Sadly no toilet posts from downunder - but my latest random adventure among the coffee beans is the next best thing ... trust me!!!

Suz said...

There was text in that post? Never saw a word.

Word Nerd said...

Geeks and nerds will one day rule the world, one electrical snafu at a time. Sadly, they're still not likely to be featured, shirtless, for an adoring public, instead being loved only for their brains--and their willingness to reward proper ass-kissing.

Anonymous said...

I vote for the firemen too. We will discuss it over wine tomorrow! Maybe we will need to take a trip to VS after??

Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) said...

I would personally blow a transformer to have that dude carry these here 47 year old lady parts down the stairs. It may scar him for life, but so very worth it!

Manic Mommy said...

I can't get past having to use PTO because the building is broken. Sounds like working for Wal*Mart!

Kimberly said...

Wow. What an adventure! Congratulations on your great final exam score!

EmptyNester said...

I'm afraid if the firefighter looked like that guy, I'd have to request mouth-to-mouth!

Sure have missed that sense of humor of yours!

Mamma has spoken said...

I don't know, somethings would be worth being carried by a hunk of a fireman, trainer be damn!
I think the dust storm effected your building in more ways than one!

Cathy at Wives with Knives said...

The good news in your post is that you got an amazing score on your exam!!! The rest sounds like misery. Nice recipe.

I Wonder Wye said...

Yummm---not sure which is more yummy -- that fireman or your fish recipe!! NO I don't think I could handle hearing about head lice - having avoided it all my life and having no kids I haven't contended with that special hell....congrats on our exam! Awesome!

Mrs4444 said...

Poor thing...Well, thanks for the recipe--It's actually one that I could use--I've had fish in the freezer for weeks with no clue what to do with it! :) Good luck this week!

Leslie said...

PTO for a broken building? No.

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

" elves in the Black Forest are hand crafting a new transformer" Ha Ha! Does that mean they aren't making my cookies? Good Luck!

Lin said...

I dont like people invading my personal bubble either, haha. Sorry you had to do all that walking...sucks. Definitely buy your IT people something small as a thank you, they'll appreciate it & remember ;)

Ms Bibi said...

It took me few minutes and a cold shower to finish the rest of the post....

Congrats on your exam....you totally nailed it!

Rainbow said...

thank you for stopping by :) I am now following you. I am sorry that your having to do all that walking :( but it is good heart exercise...so maybe there is a positive way to look at it.

Hope your week is great
Blessings
Rainbow

Gombojav Tribe said...

Extremely amusing food blog! I'll be back for more laughs and maybe some recipes. :-)

Doreen said...

Oh that fireman is HOT!!! No elevator really sucks. I run up and down the stairs in my house at least 20 times a day...but not all at once. I hope it still counts as exercise because since I quit smoking...a year ago this month; I've put on a few pounds. Having the gall bladder out didn't help either.
On a more serious note thank you for your lovely comment and I am praying for your Dad as well.

dbs said...

I especially appreciated your "towering inferno" tag.

Kristy said...

After a few more walks of stairs, maybe you'll feel more confident when your skirt flies up. :)

Hilary said...

you always have to be nice to IT! I learned that lesson the hard way!

Sandra said...

95%!!! Well no wonder you had no time for us, you were busy brown nosing your lesbian online instructor! Seriously, congrats! I'm torn between admiration and blue faced jealousy.
And before I forget, thank you for posting that delicious picture. And he could carry me over his shoulder while my naughty bits showed any day!