Sunday, June 17, 2012

What Not to Wear


I have an ugly little confession. Well I have a lot of little crazy thoughts, many of which for the sake of family harmony I say only in my head.  Don’t even get me going on story telling at my Sistah’s house at the Father’s Day barbeque today.  Filter people, filter. The future son in law is sitting RIGHT THERE, WE ARE STILL IN THE HONEYMOON PHASE WITH HIM. Ahem.  My dirty little secret? I have a What Not to Wear photo album on my personal Facebook with several hundred special  Kodak moments.



I take random snapshots at all the best places like Costco and the Tempe Art Festival. It started so innocently. Hey, look at that guy wearing high tops with a leotard. Oh wait, the lady with the two tone mullet at Trader Joes.  I often took Sheldon with me as a decoy to “fake take” her picture and get the real object of my desire in digital history.  She will no longer play this little game with me, making it more awkward to be stealth. But Awkward is my middle name.

I had a few of my own uncomfortable clothing issues in my lifetime. This is not to be confused with the time I had my skirt tucked into mypantyhose and didn’t realize it until I was in the mirrored elevator on the 31st floor.   Since I’m a little liquored up/scarred from today’s lunch, this week we’ll do Peach Sangria.

Peach Sangria
One bottle White Wine Spritzer (Love Pomula Wine)
3 ounces Peach Vodka
5 ounces Peach Schnapps
2 Tablespoons Triple Sec
1 Orange sliced
2 cups strawberry sliced  

Mix alcohol together in a pitcher and add sliced fruit. Serve over ice. It goes to pretty damn easy so be careful peeps.

My addiction has gotten so bad that some of my friends like CT and Miss Anonymous feed my crack habit by emailing me their random finds. Thank you ladies!  Rather than fill today’s post with lots of silly words, I will let a small sampling of my subject matter captivate you.  If you desire to have a peek at a larger sampling, go here to Mrs. Tuna’s Facebook page  and view the Photo Album. While you’re there freaking  Like Mrs. Tuna.  This is only a teeny tiny glimpse into her personal ummm….art collection.  Good week Team Tuna!

Step away from the crochet hook and back away.....

 Whoopsie

Please note Sheldon trying to exit stage right.

 Well it certainly wants me to get MY sexy back.

My cup runs over. 





45 comments:

Laoch of Chicago said...

I have no idea what women should be wearing (although less is the new more!) but I do know that sangria is a sacred thing.

Twisted Susan said...

My fave was that guy's ass cleavage, but I also like the Tupac hooker outfit.

Kim said...

Lol. I assume those people have no mirrors at home. I just checked your Facebook to make sure I wasn't in the "album" , and then I liked!

Angie said...

Thank God I have never been a fan of crochet! That long crochet vest? makes her look like her ass is a target or a thermal image where you have to wonder where the hot spot is!

That sangria recipe looks to die for! I have my mother and aunts visiting in July and I think that will be a perfect afternoon cocktail!

Sandra said...

Oh you're goooood!...I just want to know what's wrong with the guy wearing the tshirt that says he wants his sexy back? Maybe I have that tshirt...maybe Wayne does...what's it to you??? Huh? Huh?

Jean | DelightfulRepast.com said...

Mrs Tuna, this little "hobby" of yours would be a difficult thing to give up - and I fear there will never be a shortage of subjects for your gallery.

Tracy said...

I have this addiction too. My favorite places are amusement parks.
http://tracywordswisdom.blogspot.com/2010/12/what-not-to-wear-part-2.html

Shawn said...

Oh my Gosh, these pictures are priceless!! The only "non family" pictures I have are of the topless women my hubby took on our trip to Mexico!!!

The Defiant Marshmallow said...

I can't stop laughing from these pictures. You are a paragon of stealth photo technique. You are also now in the realm of my personal heroines. Shoot, you knocked Marie Curie out of the top ten with these pics.
Can't love this enough!

THE SARCASM GODDESS said...

I had something important and interesting to say, but now all I can think is Holy boobies, Batman! Off you get friendly with your facebook page.

Mark said...

Love these shots! And "fake take", I need to use that one!
And tell me, are you BWD(Blogging with Drunk)? The best posts come out of that!
m.

Hilary said...

I love that you mentioned Costco. I went there over the weekend and after pointing out 5 ridiculous looking people (who I wished I had the nerve to snap pictures of) I told Marc that I could spend a full day standing there gaping at people

MOV said...

Well, Tuna, if I didn't love you before, I certainly do now. This is hilarious!!! I think this is the real reason Facebook was invented. (I am not on Facebook, but if I were, I would have to copy your brilliant idea.)

My favorite part is how you have to be so stealth to get the pictures! Me? not so much. I think if this were my addiction, I would just be bold, go up to the person and tell them how they look EXACTLY like my cousin Susie, and would they mind if I took their picture because Susie will never believe it (*ahem*). Yes, I think I could be a world-class liar.

Write more this summer! I am counting on you for a minimum hit of once/ week entertainment, kinda like Dallas but without the 800-year-old Larry Hagman.

xxo
MOV

Pins and Needles said...

Awesome - and this is an excellent hobby. Boyfriend and I spend most of our shopping trips sniggering like children behind our hands - for some reason our local supermarket seems to specialise in the sartorially challenged... maybe they are just doing it for our entertainment.

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

Now that is a fun way to spend your time! You sure captured some great examples of horrendous fashion!

Mamma has spoken said...

I will be the first to admit that I could end up in one of your shots, especially since I know Clint and Stacy from 'What Not to Wear' will be on my door step sometime soon.
And I won't mind a bit.

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

I wish I had Facebook just for this. Are they selling cleavage at Costco now?

Laurel's Quill said...

Good grief...get a mirror, folks!

Andrea said...

That poor dog is pissed! And hoping his friends don't see the photo. Love your decoy, as I have used them as well (then wonder why I have a cheesy pic of the hubs, until I realize what glorious sight is in the background1)

Bibi @ Bibi's Culinary Journey said...

Lol, great way to start my Monday....I can't even pick my favorite one...I am sure I will after pitcher of your Sangria...:)

WhisperingWriter said...

Eek! Some of the stuff people walk out in confuse me. Big time.

Julie said...

I have always been half scared and half hopeful that Stacy and Clinton will ambush me outside my home for a complete makeover.

But with people like this hanging around town, I don't stand a chance of being picked.

DANG.

Better start letting my boobs hang out. More.

Janie Junebug said...

The last time I saw my sister, we were attending a wedding. I borrowed a long skirt and a cute top from The Hurricane. Very gypsy/bohemian. My sister said, If the people from What Not To Wear were here, they'd take those clothes away from you. *sigh* I guess you'd probably take my picture.

Love,
Janie

THE SARCASM GODDESS said...

I have a bloggy award for you!

Clairejustine said...

Lol love this post,I think it alot this is so fun...Thanks for linking up to Creative Mondays :)

Rae Wright said...

That post is the funniest I have read in a long time LOL thank you for sharing I love the what not to wear stuff. LOL

Pam Lofton said...

BaHahahahahahahaha! So freaking hilarious! Oh, and the talk- he might as well get used to it now. We always go ahead and expose any of the lovelies' boytoys right away. You know, just so there aren't any surprises later. If they can take it, then they're made of strong stuff! LOL

myevil3yearold said...

Oh, you make me laugh every time. I have missed reading your blog.

Gene Pool Diva said...

Peach sangria and people watching. Now thats a perfect day.

Charlotte said...

Your posts are always fun. And thanks for the Peach Sangria recipe.

Caffeinated OC Mommy said...

Tee hee hee... xoxo

Sharon Greenthal said...

This is very entertaining. More please!

I Wonder Wye said...

They still go a long way towards normal compared to those People of Walmart photos....unfortunately....wonder if those people have mirrors in their homes? They may want to invest in one...

Nicki said...

OMG you KNOW she made that crocheted atrocity yourself. People...if you crocheted it..and one of your yarn colors is neon green...DO NOT WEAR IT OUT OF THE HOUSE. Don't even make it into an afghan. I HAVE DECREED IT.

The Indesign Donkey (not anymore bwahahaha) said...

Good thing the ubiquitous cell phone camera didn't exist in my college.... er, post-college years. You'd probably have a picture of me in my shiny silver lame (that's la-may, not "lame", well ok, it's both) shirt picked up at a used clothing store on spring break NYC '95 WOOOOOO!!!!!

Marie Bee said...

New follower. Love this!!

Marie Bee said...

Ok Miss Tuna..the button's back. I had no clue I lost it. Newbies...psh. Come back! Come back! :P

Chris Dean said...

Flippin HIL-A-RI-OUS!!! My daughter HATES being in public with me during times like those...my internal "Fashion Police" comes out and I simply can't help myself!
And the drink? Holy monkey! I think I've found my soul-mate!

Word Nerd said...

Very "peopleofwalmart.com." :O)

Frogs in my formula said...

Hahaha, the general public is so giving, isn't it, with their eye candy?!

Cupcake Murphy said...

I don't understand how anyone can have bazooms that big and spellcheck tried to change bazooms to bazookas, I rest my case.

live sports said...

nice pics

The Empress said...

What in the world?


We could learn a lot about discretion from our Parisian women friends.

Sheesh.

Shelly Ann said...

LOL so funny. It is amazing what some people wear out in public. You should check out www.peopleofwalmart.com & turn your pics in there if any were taken at walmart! New follower here from the Friday Blog Hop.
http://lovejoyjunction.blogspot.com/

Loving all of your recipes too!

Millie Burns said...

That right there just earned you a new follower!!! : )