Sunday, January 16, 2011

The New Adventures of a Naughty School Girl

A few months ago I documented my to Kool 4 Skool challenges on getting my ass in gear to get a degree in Urban Planning. The current economic climate made me realize I needed to put myself on my own pedestal. Since I have the social skills of a feral cat I know I need the technical edge to keep me from being eaten like a limping zebra. I was faced with the trials and tribulations of obtaining mimeographed transcripts from 1040 BC, getting my rabies shots and wading through used condom wrappers to get accepted at ASU.



But my personal life’s plate already shows signs of too many trips to the all you can eat buffet. What was I thinking? How can I crowbar in one more stinking thing? A typical week for Mrs. Tuna involves the following random acts.

I try and torture myself at 5 AM two or three mornings a week with Eva’s Braun’s best friend Helga the yoga instructor. You there, flamingo, spread your legs wider and get closer to the floor. This may be something I can let go, actually, I’m sure I can let go. I visit the invalid horse Lad an hour away once a week and ride the loaner horse 3 or 4 days a week. I sit on a variety of professional boards and lecture sweet young girls on the fabulousness of working in a man’s world. And oh yeah, a minimum 40 hour work week at Giant Engineering Company.

I also need to make time to wear my naughty girl school outfits, I mean make dinner for the Big Tuna. At this point in the blog Sheldon is poking her eyes with a sharp object to burn that image out of her head. Mommy and Daddy never did the nasty sweetie, we found you under a rose bush in the garden. Maybe honey child you should skip to the end of this post. Here is a fast during the week recipe so we’re eating more than drive thru next week.

Applesauce Pork Chops
1 jar of applesauce
4 medium thick pork chops
Cinnamon

Pour half the jar of applesauce in the bottom of a shallow square baking pan. Place pork chops on top and cover with remaining applesauce and sprinkle with cinnamon. Cover with foil and cook at 350 degrees for an hour. Serve with mashed or bake potatoes.

During the winter school break I sent an email, even using my real name to fellow blogger Mrs. 4444s about how to get more followers and comments. Her amazing counsel helped me grow from 25 to over 100 followers, over 50 comments and a tweet on my last post and meet up with a ton of amazing and way funnier peeps than me. It’s been wonderful to have other people besides my drunken friends tell me I have mad skills. But I’ve been devoting a lot of time to my blog this break and know I have to make a few adjustments with carrying a full time class schedule on top of everything else.

So here is my commitment to you my fellow readers, I will continue to post every single week, but I may cheat and repost some of my earlier silliness. I assure you, I was just as freaking funny six months ago when none of you knew I existed. Bear with me Team Tuna, don’t Unfollow me. (This is the Facebook equivalent of being Defriended) Same time, same place next week. Peace out. See I’m hipper and more of a sorority sister already.

53 comments:

myevil3yearold said...

I hate pork chops.

Ok, I was going to just stop there but that makes me seem betchy. Hubby loves them and occasionally I try to make him some but since I hate them I feel so uninspired when I cook them I just do shake-n-bake. This seems better. Thanks!

The Zadge said...

You are rocking that skirt and lunchbox.

Bridget said...

That recipe sounds so good and easy! Thanks so much for stopping by my blog for a visit. I love meeting new bloggy friends, and I have to say that you are so funny!

Missy said...

I really need to try the Naughty School Girl thing!
Not leaving you, no matter what!!!!

dbs said...

I'm on Team Tuna! You need to write about Team Tuna vs. Team Edward vs. Team Jacob. But only when you have some time again. (And I'm not leaving either.)

Lisa ~Suburban Retreat~ said...

Play it again Sam! I only started following yesterday so your old material will be fine with me!

qandlequeen said...

Cheat away baby doll. I'm a new follower and much too lazy to pluck through your old stuff.

Colie's Kitchen said...

Hi this is Nicole from Colie’s Kitchen I wanted to drop by and say hi. I really like your blog, and I am now a new follower. I would love to have you stop by Colie’s Kitchen if you get a chance. www.colieskitchen.com

My Big Secret Blog :) said...

Congratulations on all your followers Mrs. Tuna. :) You've worked hard on your blog! It's impressive how you juggle so much at a time. :)

Melissa Boyles said...

I so look forward to your new posts. As usual this is hilarious! I am also not always drunken when I'm lauding your brilliance... lol!

Sweet T Makes Three said...

Are you letting me stay on Team Tuna after dissing birch beer? ;)

Frogs in my formula said...

I love pork chops but always seem to forget about them. Same goes for the school girl outfit. LOL. You sound pretty busy. Reposting is totally forgivable!

Mary said...

Those pork chops sound good, and easy! Too bad I have a foreign exchange student in my house right now who doesn't eat pork.
Isn't Mrs. 4444 the best? :D

Heather said...

OK. I look forward to reading your reruns. (I would also like you to forward me her tips.)

Brian said...

I tried that yoga thing you mentions, but I rolled off the couch and hurt my butt!

Red Nomad OZ said...

Hey! Thanx so much for visiting and following my blog!! You didn't need any naughty schoolgirl outfits or tricks to get me to comment on and follow your blog - the hilarious posts do it for me! And if you re-post the old stuff, I won't have to go looking for it! Laziness (I mean good time management) wins every time!!

Sandra said...

I can do a repeat! Good luck, hope you are successful in everything you do!

Exmoorjane said...

Oh I love this....so much that if I'm not careful I'm going to keep reading all your posts and not get to the gym. And I WILL have that Lara Croft body, I tell you....I will, I will, I will...

Soo.....laters. jx

Hilary said...

I think re-runs are great...Especially for someone new like me who missed your earlier posts. I have a crazy week ahead of me this week, and I am doing a mix of re-runs too.

Nicole said...

Good luck! You're living my dream. My stressed out, going back to school dream. I'll look forward to a few reposts. How's that for support?

Facing50Blog.com said...

Mrs Tuna Thank you for the really easy peasy recipe - hubby has ready made fishcakes tonight so I might stretch to the cordon bleu pork tomorrow:) I'm in full admiration of anyone who can last the pace of any yoga session as you probably noted on my post - I don't find it easy to concentrate or bend!
I would be delighted to have you as my 'featured blogger' the week starting 27th January(yes I know that's a Thursday and not the start of the week but I am an old fool who started this whole featured blogger thing on a Thursday!) Actually it's quite a good day to get started as Friday there are a lot of hops which I attend and try and get traffic through the blog.
I think you are huge fun and I'm sure if Hubby saw that picture of the school uniform he'd agree! You won't need to do anything I'll just put up a link to your blog and Twitter/Facebook witter on Blogger daily about your posts. I think more peeps should come and visit you - so there! I'll contact you when the link is up and ready. As for the whole college business -well done - go for it. I'm trying to teach myself Russian - it's going very, very, very badly. I may be a linguist but clearly the Russian alphabet and Cryllic letters are beyond my aging brain at the moment.

Marla said...

I think you have mad skills and I'm not even drunk.

blueviolet said...

There's nothing wrong with pulling stuff out of the closet when it's still worth wearing. Bring it on.

Good luck now that school's starting up again and you'll be so busy!

twelvedaysold said...

Definitely wear the schoolgirl outfit. Looks delicious! So does the pork chops.

Snuggle Wasteland said...

I like my recipes the way I like my men - quick and easy. This one's a winner.

PS I'm thinking about doing some re-posts, too.

Anonymous said...

Yo Baby it's Big and like everything else in our lives, we will find a balance to it all. As for me when I'm not working 50-60 hours a week and actually in town. I will do my best to keep myself busy with the playoffs, super bowl and then Nascar! Daytona and Presidents day in Glamis with the boy's. Of course I will cook every meal I can to keep your blood pressure in check and stay away from preprocess frozen food.

Love and Other Indoor Sports
Big Tuna

Annie (Lady M) x said...

Blimey. Do you really get up at 5am to do yoga? 5AM? Shit, that is the middle of the night. Why would you do that if your parents weren't telling you so?! Crazy girl

LottieSpartacus said...

Since you are female, all that juggling should be possible. It's only males who struggle with the whole multi-tasking bizzo! Anyhoo, since I've only started following you recently, I won't even know if you repost for ages!!! Go for it!

FreeFlying said...

Less posting? Sad! 5 am yoga classes? Sad! Big Tuna getting on and signing his comment "love and other indoor sports"? Happy again.

p.s. When you get a chance, how about you shoot me an email sharing some of that how to gain followers wisdom? Come on, Mrs. T. Share the love.

.: Kristine :. said...

That used to be my favorite dinner as a kid. My hubby and daughter won't eat that now and would probably keel over in shock if I suggested it.

Now I'm jonesing for it....

Gucci Mama said...

Jesus Christ, it's not like you have anything to do, lazy ass.

Wink.

Little Miss Sunshine State said...

Does this mean that you and your daughter will be in college at the same time?
I bow to your bravery.
I'll keep checking in here because you crack me up!

Keely said...

Wait. You have a full time job, full time classes, a kid, a blog, AND you exercise?

You're really a robot, right?

The Frat Pack + Me said...

Wowzers! Can't wait for some vintage funnyness. You are a stitch, my friend!

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

Bring on the vintage Mrs. Tuna stuff!

Stacy Uncorked said...

I'm with Keely - you've gotta be a robot! Or Superwoman...or maybe a Superwoman Robot! ;) How do you do it all? I'm still dropping my juggling balls all the time! :)

And that easy recipe? Pork Chops and Apple Sauce are a great combo...easy is even better, so I'm totally going to have to try this one soon! :)

RTT: Ice Snow and Head Colds

EmptyNester said...

Good for you- going to get that degree! You go girl! You can do it!

julie said...

What a coincidence. I'm wearing my naughty school girl outfit while reading blogs this morning.
Beats the hell out of eating anything off my unvacuumed carpet.
Which I would rather do that than work out with Helga anyday.
Pilates in a naughty school girl outfit...now that sounds...ummmm....undoable.
Time to pull up my socks again.

Shawn Becker said...

Loved you in the school girl dress..you Naughty Girl!!! Now, if you wear that to school you will surely get A's..just make sure you have all men Professors!
You are an amazing multi-tasker. I could have all that on the buffet, but I would just put off eating until tomorrow. You see, I am the Queen of Procrastinators!
Have a blessed day and I will look forward to any of your posts!
Queen Shawn..the Procrastinator,

Mrs4444 said...

You're cute (and funny :) I'm happy for you--Nice job on the new followers. It's a lot of work to get yourself out there, but the relationships you gain make it all worth it, don't they?

I'm impressed by your hard-working, busy self. Wow!

thanks for the shout-out! :)

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

I'm looking forward to the recycled reads too. I've been thinking about doing the same thing but, like my workout, I haven't got around to it yet. You have been a dynamo!

Kait said...

I love your humor. Consider me a new follower. :-)

Marnie said...

I will be using that recipe. It sounds easy and looks good :0)

Jean at The Delightful Repast said...

Hey, Mrs. Tuna, don't tease me with: "During the winter school break I sent an email, even using my real name to fellow blogger Mrs. 4444s about how to" and then not tell ME!" I would have emailed you, but I couldn't find your email address. You can find mine in the little About square on my blog. BTW, love your funny blog! It's good to start the day with a good laugh!

MommyToTwoBoys said...

Posting once a week is very acceptable. You have a lot on your plate! I don't have nearly as much to do and still don't exercise.

Pam said...

Visiting from BPOTW! Any chance you want to share Mrs. 4444's tips for getting more followers and comments?

1 Funky Woman said...

Hey I have no problems taking compliments even if they are from drunk people! Sometimes my standards are low!. My father worked and still does in Urban Planning. See I knew we were kindred spirits! Go Team Tuna!

I can't wait until my kids find my naughty school girl outfit, especially my son, he'll die!

Oh and that's my boyfriend with the axe!

The Empress said...

47 comments?? WTF is going on since I was last here????

You funkalicious mama....others know how adorable you are now? Thasawright.

The Empress said...

And b/c I"m all auspie about numbers, I gotta get you to 50 comments on this post.

I'm sick like that.

The Empress said...

Sick like that and Pfat like that. Or is it Phat? I'm so uncool.

The Empress said...

Booyah!

51.

oh yeah oh yeah

Doing the backwards sex robot dance now...

The Empress said...

Ohhh, and now I'm so sad b/c I see all the peeps on here I used to know that used to come by and say hi until I decided I had to start sleeping/eating/and going to the bathroom---and that meant I had to get off the computer and couldn't visit 600 sites a day.

Such the loser am I.

Sorry, depression makes me become yoda.

Even if it is blogger depression-lite.

LOLA said...

How did you get that photo of me? God I'm cute. But clueless.

Love,
Lola