Friday, May 25, 2012

Little Black Book

May has been a whirlwind month as it is every year. It is a combination of Mommy’s Day, congratulating ourselves on another year of swapping Wedded spit while dancing around in my Birthday suit holding glasses of sangria.  What? Like you never do that.  The next gift opportunity isn’t until Christmas, a very, very, very long way away. Feel free to send me a little something to sustain me if you wish, I can be quite the sulker if not placated with random presents.

Combined with accepting a job with Endless Engineering, flogging those whiny students and Sheldon’s upcoming nuptials I am slacking at this blog.  Fortunately, Ms. Anonymous filled in last week and things are settling down so I am back at it. I have a tried and true method for keeping track of my friend’s and family’s faux pas in order to revisit in a more ummmmm…. sober state.  It’s my little book that I jot little notes for future blogging posts. Granted it’s paisley, not black, but you get the idea. Let’s crack that puppy open and share a few late happenings in Tunaville shall we?

I finished the semester strong, despite more of those f*cking group projects. Man how I hate them as a rule, but I had one particularly challenging team with whom I was handcuffed the entire semester. I got stuck with “the couple”. It was obvious he was there on an athletic rather than merit scholarship. More interested in lazy days doing the nasty then working on their share of our 100,000 page report.  

EVERYTHING uploaded 10 minutes before class overwriting other people belabored words.   This included the final PowerPoint presentation.   My overly vocal complaints were met by HER “Don’t you disrespect me.” Really, let’s talk about disrespect, it’s a noun, not a verb girlfriend.  If I was really disrespecting you I would have called you bitch.  

Peach Breakfast Shake
1 banana
1 cup orange juice
½ cup plain yogurt
1 cup frozen peaches.

Throw in the blender and whirl. Not as good as the Peach Sangria I drank with my Sistah and Bebe last week. But I’ve been on a feeding frenzy since my birthday bash and need to get back on the diet train.

In other news, Sheldon and the Brit’s wedding plans are moving along. Date set, dress bought and venue selected. My work here is done I believe.  I don’t remember my mom helping me with this stuff, I just blindly swam along.  Sheldon calls it delegation. But they are focused on the oddest things.

Sheldon:  Mama, why can’t we throw rice at the wedding?
Mrs. Tuna:  Because the rumor is that birds eating will explode, some stupid PETA thing.  How about bubbles?
Sheldon:  The Brit and I wear contacts, we don’t want it to get in our eyes.
Mrs. Tuna: As opposed to a giant piece of rice? Chica, I’ll just buy your safety goggles you’ll be fine.

Sheldon’s fiancé understands our little flower so well.  When explaining her nickname, he exclaimed that she was pedantic.  Pedantic? Can you use it in a sentence? Sheldon is pedantic.  I consider myself pretty smart but there is something about the British that makes me feel uncouth. Before you know it I will start saying things are super cute. My IQ is dropping daily
Good week Team Tuna!


Janie Junebug said...

The Hurricane was going to get engaged to a Brit and changed her mind. I wonder if Sheldon found Hurricane's discarded Brit. He was very nice and well educated -- nothing wrong with him. Hurricane is very fussy. As for group projects, I don't know what kept you from killing those kids.


MOV said...

Oh, so good to have you back! And don't NOBODY disrespect the Tuna!


Anonymous said...

Yeah, you are doing your own work. And guess what, I will be joining you as a MOTB shortly. At least they are talking destination. We can commiserate on Monday over white sangria and mac and cheese.
Ms. A

The Zadge said...

I'm a sucker for a British accent. And he's cute too! Go Sheldon.

Hilary said...

Missed you!
Congrats on the job
I love the converstation about the rice!!!

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

"If I was really disrespecting you I would have called you bitch."

dbs said...

I can't wait until my "work is done" and my kids are married off to some decent opposed to the losers that usually show up at our door.

Anonymous said...

Phew I was afraid there'd be thinly veiled jabs at me for deserting you at the Vampire's Castle. Much like the not-so-thinly veiled jabs Vampire-Not-Balding threw at me in the passing-of-the-duties meeting on my last day.... must have been only mildly awkward for the new Indesign Donkey to sit there while Vampire-Not-Balding called me a "rat bastard" for leaving the Castle with my blood supply intact. Fun times. I should have gone all "DON'T YOU DISRESPECT ME!!!" hahaha

Marianne said...

Group projects always meant me doing all the work and the team collecting my "A." I feel your pain. Welcome back!

Ami said...

Rice Krispies. Throw those. Or birdseed. When we got married, my brother in law took a WHOLE BOX of them and dumped it all over the dash of our car. Vacuumed up easily. Then about two weeks later when I turned on the defroster, rice krispies came flying out all over the car.

Hard to believe that was nearly 32 years ago.

I will send you a random gift... I'm tie dyeing a batch of socks right now. They'd look GREAT at the wedding, don't ya think?

Email me at and send me your address.

tigey said...

Happy to hear about the job, Congratulations !

J.R. said...

I love learning new words. I googled Pedantic.
That will be my word for the week. I will try to use it as much as I can.

I have a pedantic attention to detail, so therefore I must walk downstairs and tell my daughter she did not load the dishwasher correctly. If she was more Pedantic-ish, she would have pedantically done it, in a more pedantical type fashion. Phew! That made me pedantically exhausted. ;)

Great post! Group projects are awful (unless you get to be the one riding the coat tails, and then taking all of the glory) Ha Ha

M.S. said...

New follower from the Creative Blog Hop:)

Anonymous said...

When was your birthday? Mine was Friday - many happy returns

Kimberly said... friggen funny would it be to wear goggles?!!!

What is with those group projects. I hated them in nursing school. HATE. Especially when you had that one lazy drunk who was always partying living up the college life and losing at school. Sigh

Laoch of Chicago said...

Sadly I am both didactic and sybaritic, so it could be worse.

Clairejustine said...

Thanks for joining us at Creative Mondays,new follower :)sounds like loads of different things are going on for you at the minute :)

Stephanie said...

Girlfriend what a month you have had! Huge congrats all around.
And PS How gorgeous are you!

Kernut the Blond said...

Great photo of you two! Congrats on the many years of wedded spit, err, I mean bliss!

julie gardner said...

So my anniversary is August 17th and this year I am for sure going to dance around in my birthday suit drinking sangria.

By the way.

Is it August yet?

Mary said...

Pedantic??? WTH??? I'm going to have to look that up.

Anonymous said...

Group assignments are pretty much always a nightmare, at least for the responsible member. For slackers, they're happy gravy.

Jo said...

Glad to see you back! MOTB is a big ass job and maybe she'll just take over and do whatever she wants and just send you the bills?

Anonymous said...

Sweet and nice. Many congratulations. Great pic and good read.

Mojo Writin said...

I felt the need to sit down and have a rest after reading your blog! Might even have a sangria to recover. you are sooo busy! I admire you and good luck with the wedding *smile*

Pam Lofton said...

You wonderful, crazy lady you. LOL It just must be a hoot to live anywhere near you! How 'bout having them throw flower petals? Or potpourri? LOL BFF's daughter is getting married in April 2013 (I specify the year because when I told the husband he replied, "NEXT April?" Duh, this April has come and gone. Men. Sheesh. Anyway, she's doing way more than what you mention---I will have to share this info with her. :)

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

Mrs. Tuna, I need to keep that black book by my bed so I don;t keep losing great blog ideas I dream about. Also, why am I tempted to add a flavored vodka to the healthy breakfast shake? :)

Frogs in my formula said...

Whoah. You've got a lot going on. A lot! Many congratulations.

Thanks for the anniversary night idea. Hubs and I are going on #6 this month and now I know what we'll do: dance around naked with sangria and swap wedding spit. H-O-T!

Jean | said...

Marianne (previous commenter) said my thoughts exactly: "Group projects always meant me doing all the work and the team collecting my "A." I feel your pain. Welcome back!" Yep, that was me in school! Teachers really should arrange their teams a little better than that.

Anonymous said...

Well hello fellow slacker,

I stopped by to tell you how much I love your dry humor and to wish you congratulations on your daughters wedding.

So while you stress about the big event I'm off to enjoy a peach breakfast shake.

Carry On. Hugs -Kelly

Caffeinated OC Mommy said...

You're FABulous Darling! xoxo

The Empress said...

So OBVIOUS you are in love with this guy.

How wonderful.

Sumit Kapoor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Industrial Ventilation said...

I wanted to thank you for this great and useful content.

Forced Draft Ventilation